Monday, November 19, 2007

The Way To Go

A wonderful friend of ours sent this to me. I thought you would enjoy a little humor, so...

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

”Oh no, my dear,” replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our
advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous! Simply, in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

Seriously, isn't that a good way to go out, guys? Except I would like for it to be "Stars and Strips Forever."


Cooper Green said...

So ... he couldn't finish without a fudgsicle?

Jim Latchford said...

Speaking of senior citizens of advancing age... We were, weren't we? Two gentlemen in their upper 80s had been best friends for decades. Now retired, they spend every weekday at the country club playing cards. On one particular day, one of the gentlemen turns to his friend and said, with some hesitation, "I know that you and I have been the best of friends for years and years, but I'm embarassed to tell you this, but I can't for the life of me remember your name!" His friend looked at him with wide-eyed astonishment that very quickly dissolved into a look of total confusion. Said he to his friend, "Just how soon do you need to know?" I think we are all headed in that direction ourselves.

coffeypot said...

Cooper, I thank it more of a pop-sicle.

Jim, that "Depends."

RWA said...

Oh my goodness...that is absolutely hilarious!!!!

her indoors said...

brilliant! i got one but its a bit risky,i shall e mail it you an then you can decide if you dare post it!

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL! I thought it was a well-kept secret that us fogies enjoy sex as much or more than the young-uns.

coffeypot said...

rwa - I thought so, too. It reminds me of the picture joke that shows a living room with four ladies in sweat suits sprawled on the couch, a chair and laying prone over a footstool. All were out of breath and sweating profusely. The fourth lady in bending over the VCR and she is saying, “Well no wonder. It was on Fast Forward.”

Her indoors, send it on. The email address is in my profile.

MST, just because there is snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s no a fire in the furnace.

Moxie said...

Now that was hysterical. I may share this one with my family over pre-dinner cocktails on Thanksgiving.

coffeypot said...

moxie, that ought to go over well. Just wear a rain slicker so you won't get wet with all the slip spits over their glasses.

jo(e) said...

I laughed aloud at this.

coffeypot said...

jo(e), good! We need more of that.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Bacon and eggs

A woman asked her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?"

He declined. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he said. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she asked him if he would like something."A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declined. "The Viagra," he said, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asked if he wanted anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declined again. "No," he said, "it's got to be the Viagra . I'm still not hungry."

Well," she said, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."