Thanks to my friend Mary:
Three Women: One engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to AMAZE their men. That night they decided to wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and a mask over their eyes.
After a few days they meet again....
The engaged girlfriend said, ‘The other night, when my boyfriend came home, he found me with the leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you.' Then we made love all night long.
The mistress said, ‘AH! Me, too; the other night I met my lover in the office and I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say anything...But we had wild sex all night.
The married one said, 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mothers for the night and I got myself ready: leather bodice, super stilettos and a mask over my eyes. My husband comes in from work and opens the door and says: 'HEY BATMAN, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?'
And I am adding:
A woman stopped by her daughters house for a visit without call first. Being a mom, she did have to know before going in, so she opened the door and there was her daughter lying on the couch – naked.
“What in the world are you doing?” she screamed.
The daughter, embarrassed and trying to cover herself said, “It’s time for my husband to come home and I frequently greet him in my birthday suit. It turns him on and we have great sex all night long.”
“Well, I had better leave.” the mother said as she embarrassingly backed out of the door.
But she thought about it all the way home and thought she would give it a try with her husband. When it was time for him to come in the door, she shucked her clothes, jumped on the couch and waited.
He came in the door, saw her laying there and shockingly said, “What in the hell are you doing, woman?”
She said, “I thought I would greet you in my birthday suit.”
He took off his cap, set down in his chair with the remote control and said, “Birthday suit? Well you need to iron the damn thing. It’s wrinkled as hell.” His visiting hours are for family only.
You Had Me At The First Two Words... Bacon & Wrapped...... -
41 minutes ago