Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dog Rules

Again I am copying from on of my blogger friends again - Nekked Lizzard. But I only copy the very best and post them to a new mess of peeps. You have my permission to pass along anything you see here, too.

Dog Rules
1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.
2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.
3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.
4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.
5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever the hell he pleases.
6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.
7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.
8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we’ll sell the whole damn works and buy new furniture...upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.
9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period!
10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.
11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he’s not allowed under the covers.
12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.
13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he’s got to leave the room.
14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he’s not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I’m now sleeping. That’s just not fair.
15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as “primary resident,” even if it’s true.

Thanks, Randy!


Anonymous said...

LOL, will print out these rules for my dog to read!!

Brother Dave said...

No doubt that there are, as well, "Rules for Kids," and "Rules for Spouses."


SuvvyGirl said...

It's amazing some of us pet owners have ever been allowed to have children :P We know the enemy and they are small LOL

Beth said...

You just described my sister and her dogs.

coffeypot said...

lw, holy crap! Your dog can read?

bd, go and try to put the rules on your Judy. I'll visit you in your hospital room.

subby, and some of those people treat their animals better than their children. Sad, but true.

beth, Paige is going to come looking for you. Hide!

Cooper Green said...

This is crap.

Okay, Danielle Steele is crap, but this is almost as bad.

Okay, I've read worse, but this could be a lot better.

Okay, it's not bad, but you can forget about the Pulitzer prize.

This is great.