Monday, September 22, 2008

Did'ja know...

And from my friend Mary:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cunference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes in-verse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects!


Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

This is funny all over again! LOL!

Only shouldn't it be Sir CUMFERENCE?

(as in circumference?)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I posted two pix of SB in civvies,a s I have none in Uniform.

I'll be gone to the poetry festival for more than a week and camping, so I'll talk to you next week (if not between now and when I leave tomorrow).

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

PS, have a good week.

coffeypot said...

I copied and pasted as I recived it. I saw the spelling, but I figured that was the way it was suppose to be.

Nobody™ said...

That's funny stuff right there

Brother Dave said...

Incredibly corny. ;-)

e.Craig Crawford said...

I gave my cookware away, then used the last of my All detergent doing my laundry.

I suddenly realized that I no longer had the ware with All.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Hmm, weird, I didn't notice. Very strange. Oh well.

#5 makes me laugh all over again.

I have a sort of sick sense of humor, LOL!

coffeypot said...

e.c. but the Tide turned and you didn't need it anymore.

Christine said...

How sad am I that I had to reread several of those up to three times????

Ok, I am a bit slow. Good think I am cute as hell.

SuvvyGirl said...

so simple they're funny!! :P

Trukindog said...

This one really cracked me up...

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.

heh I'm still giggling.

Olly said...

These little jokes have made my husband a fan of your blog. It's the only one he reads, other than mine, of course! Any I'm sure he only reads mine to make sure I'm not using him for humourous material!