Wednesday, November 05, 2008

DUI - Southern Style

I received this in an email from my friend, Tom.

(Only people from North Carolina could think of this. From the county where driving while under the influence is considered a sport, comes this true story.)

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in Kinston , North Carolina . After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.

After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.'

'I doubt it,' said the truly proud Redneck. 'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.’


Olly said...

Oh...that is soooo good. I'm gonna have to ask my cop friend if she's heard that one.

Cooper Green said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RWA said...


I wonder if the "designated decoy" could be cited/arrested for creating a false situation (similar to filing a false report)?

chesneygirl said...

That is GREAT.

I'll have to remember that one! LOL