Monday, January 26, 2009

Black Leather Bodice

 

A friend of the family was over the other night and she told us this story.

I had lunch with two of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for over 20 years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bodice, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went.

My engaged friend said, “The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress then said, “The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story, “When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.

As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, ‘What's for dinner, Batman?’“

Us having a friends over is bull shit. I don’t have friends. But the story is funny anyway.
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12 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Pooldad would definitely say the last - and then we would laugh hysterically [sign of a great relationship, I think] and THEN we would make love all night long.

Laughing the whole time.

I can so picture it! The other two don't get the fun, just the sex. ;)

Alekx said...

If I put on stilettos I would fall down break my leg, my boobs and my fat would fall out of the black leather bodice, showing the chaff makes It gave me under the arms.
The mask would get all sideways and when I got up I'd run into a wall breaking an arm to match the leg.
So much for exciting romance on my home front.

Miss Alex said...

You're a sweety thank you :)

coffeypot said...

Skippy, that is the fun of being married. Otherwise it is just pure lust - which is okay, too.

Alekx, it just for fun, you don't have to get wobbly legged, commode hugging drunk and fall all over yourself to do this stuff.

coffeypot said...

Alex,you're welcome...and I ain't sweet.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

No wonder you don't have any friends if you go around with stilettos and a black leather bodice and a mask!

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I'd fall down the stairs in stilettos, too!

But BB still likes me enough that we have wild sex all night anyway. Well, for a while anyway, lol!

coffeypot said...

Mary, interesting. Show pics.

Biddie said...

OMG, that is TOO funny! Real life is funnier than fiction.

Pamela said...

I recall a writer in the 80s - who said that women should wrap themselves in nothing but saran wrap and meet their husband at the door with a martini

So, I figured I'd try that and my husband would say: What leftovers again?

(But he got home from work before I did)

coffeypot said...

Biddy, life is a trip.

Pamela, you should have said yes but you had better enjoy before it dries out.

SuvvyGirl said...

Well I had a similar happening when I was younger ( 18 years old with the body to go along with it). In my last relationship I had bought this short tight dress that was zebra print for the sole purpose of looking sexy for my boyfriend. Well after walking up the stairs in my new dress high heels feeling extremely sexy I was met with the statement "Ted Nugent" from my boyfriend. Needless to say that was not the response I was looking for. I decided then and there dating an avid hunter that idolized Ted Nugent had not been conducive to this part of our relationship. :P