Monday, June 08, 2009

Children and the Ocean


You know, I don’t know if these are actual quotes from real school kids or made up by someone with nothing else to do, but they are cute.

Children Writing About the Ocean

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Vicky, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

We are all part and partial of our experiences as children. The Bee Gees sang:

"Gone, gone childhood days...
Gone in so many ways.
In all my children you can see
What old acquaintance means to me.
Dream is mine and here it stays
All wrapped up in my childhood days.
And it echoes down the mountainside
People live and people die.
Though I love you for always
I lost you in my childhood days..."

"Childhood days"
Bee Gees
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SkippyMom said...

I know how we are all part and parcel of our childhood days and that BeeGees Tune is so sweet and yet, haunting.

The kids were funny - I hope the one about her sister being pregnant isn't true tho' - just imagine!

Coffeypot said...

Skippy, I know. The height of worry is when you wife, two daughters, your mistress, your dog, your house payment and car payment are all a couple of months late.

Unknown said...


Coffeypot said...

AM, I just wish I had thought of them.

Biddie said...

Oh, 13 is too funny. Pretty much the reason that I don't water ski!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh they were great. I needed that laugh this morning.

Christine said...

"Incontinent" had me laughing out loud. Althought I doubt they are real too, it is amazing how clever some people are. (Or how much time some people have on their hands lol)