Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Definitions By Gender

 

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Men: Scrtching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal and good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's wife or girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT: (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product fo digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king-luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht-kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minuets.

I'm sure you know others...let's have'em!
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12 comments:

Christine said...

The older I get, the more I see how true this all is.

Sarge Charlie said...

You are a perk this morning.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

This is utterly hilarious and oh so true!!!!

:-D


:-D


:-D

You made my day!

Coffeypot said...

Christine, Female sees this as true.
Male see this as a funny joke.

Sarge, that's me, percolating to please.

Mary, you always laugh at my stuff. If I had fans, you would be the president of my fan club. But I don’t have fans…just, mostly, lurkers and stalkers.

Red said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Brother Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brother Dave said...

Men are from Mars.

Coffeypot said...

Red, 'welcome!

BD and women are at the mall.

Special K said...

LOL!!!!!!

dana said...

SUPPER:

wife: a necessary daily obligation
husband: I'm hungry

It's like magic! he says "I'm hungry" and food appears!

Pamela said...

Uhhuh
what a woman says when she's listening
what a man says when he's not

Coffeypot said...

Great additions, ladies.