Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A New Discovery of the Heaviest Element Know

My long time buddy, Craig, one of my first followers, over at e.craig earthreal blog has a post about a most phenomenal discovery. He reports:

“Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.”

This is a most amazing discovery and Craig deserves kudos for reporting this to the blogging world. So head on over and let him know of your appreciation.


Ed said...

That's some heavy shit.

I was never good at political science.


Get it?

It's making fun of the government using fake chemistry properties.

So it's political Science.


It totally kills it when I have to explain.

Coffeypot said...

Ed, ya din’t haffa splain. I be smart nough at unnstand anglish. Political Science…I get it. Not so funny, but I get it.

Trooper Thorn said...

It's not as heavy as a father's guilt.

Tracie said...

Too heavy for me.