Monday, December 28, 2009

Redneck Monday - Southern Ladies


Bless their hearts, there is nothing like a genteel Southern Lady.

But how do you know when you have met one?

Let me explain,

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin
A winning smile
That unforgettable Southern drawl

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Homemade biscuits with mom

Now you will know a Southern Lady when you meet her.

And bless your heart for being a gentleman to the lady, too.


Then there are the other Southern Bells:

15 comments:

Secretia said...

You bring out the best in people!

CI-Roller Dude said...

Always good to start a Monday with your postings.
Now I need to get to work...and find some coffee...black, no cream.

Ed Adams said...

Dude, I need a blown up version of that Southern Bells poster.

Hope said...

LOL...I was just going to mention that your male readers aren't going to like you teasing them with a thumbnail picture...

Coffeypot said...

Secretia, you wouldn't think so if you could see the mob outside my windows with tourches and pitchforks and scythes and stuff.

Dude, Black is the only way to drink coffee. If something has to be added, Irish Whisky is the best.

Ed, Google 'southern bells' and she will be on the bottom row.

Hope, I don't know how to make her larger without distorting her to a gargoyle.

clew said...

I was born and raised in Ohio, which borders Canada - pretty damn yankee up here. But those 4 movies are 4 of my favorites.

... Where'd you get that picture of me?

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

Hey Coffee Pot. Thanks for the Guppie multi tool. Beats the heck out of sandalwood scented soaps and stuff.

Southern (in)Sanity said...

OK, is it bad that I couldn't see the thumbnail either - so I Googled "Southern Bells" in images?

I think I found a larger one. I just e-mailed it to you.

Christine said...

No doubt about the weather. I've really got to get the heck out of the south. I certainly don't belong to your list.

Coffeypot said...

Clew, you are still Southern At Heart.

Yogi, thank you and welcome. Don't be a stranger, ya hear.

Mr. R, got it and forwarded it to Ed. Thank you.

Christine, I think of you as the last picture. And I know you DO belong on the list of Genteel Ladies…you just don’t want people to know it.

Aleta said...

LMAO. I'm a Southern Lady. You can add one more to the list...

We have two seasons:

Summer
Summer Lite

dana said...

A Southern Belle never opens her bedroom door to a screaming man......unless she's ready to let him out.

Coffeypot said...

Aleta, you are so a Souther Lady

and

Dana, we Southern Gentlemen will smooth off those rough edges for you and you will be Genteel, too. And who would want to leave your bedroom?

The Peach Tart said...

How about a little of both?

kys said...

That sounds about right.