They are getting a little more than usual this time because, well, it’s Christmas. It is also winter over there and they are, to say the least, cold. So along with the peanuts, cereal, beef jerky, power bars, candy and magazines (sorry guys, no Playboys or Penthouses) and books, I have enclosed hand, body and foot warmers to help them out on their trips outside the wire and standing those long, boring watches.
I was up to 3:00 a.m. packing boxes to send to my dudes overseas in The Suck.
Today I loaded them up to take to the Post Office. Of course all 10,000 people in my little town had to mail packages today, too. So I was in line about an hour. Happy fucking me. My luck…only old, ugly women and one fat man to talk too, so I read my book while in line.
It had to be done today if I wanted to guarantee delivery by Christmas. However, if they are late, it’s a good thing, too. My friend Hope told me that there is always the after holiday letdown and packages arriving after Christmas is a sure pick-me-up. So what ever happens, it will be a good thing.
After the post office, I made my daily trip to the Waffle House for…uh…Brunch. (I have lost the picture of my WH - sorry.)
I then went to Great Clips for my haircut.
But I didn’t just get a hair cut this time.
I got it buzzed.
Why, you may ask (or you may not even give a shit, I don’t know, but I have to type something to say abut these pictures) why I scrape off all the snow from the roof?
It’s because of this:
For the past four years I have been the resident Santa for the Pet Smart in Duluth, where my step-daughter, Dr. Amber, sets up each weekend for pet adoptions.
These are two of my dogs; the white one is Brea, a 120 lb Grand Pyrenees and the chocolate Lab is Gabby.
These are the other two dogs we adopted, the red one is Nancy (a boy dog becasue the dumb asses who dropped him off couldn't tell a 'red rocket coming out of the silo' from a split under the tail) and Jo Jo (a female).
This is how I want to spend my Santa stint:
But NNOOOOO! It has to be with animals.
On top of that I will be leaving on the 8th for my NY transport trip. So now you know why I am so full of the fucking holiday spirit. If I see that fat man flying over my house, I will be target practicing with my shotgun. Fucker!
So I'll still be around, but it will probably be just lurking.
21 comments:
OMFG!! I thought I was bad when I shopped for the guys... Now I know I'm in damn good company. :)
By the way, love the 'buzzed' look.
Hey nice buzz! They'll get my box after Christmas, as usual I am way behind . . . again . .
Santa Claus?? *snorfle*
Dear Santa, This year I have been very good and I would like either World Peace or a million dollars (which ever is easiest for you)
Pax
What's an old fucker like you got to do anyhow other then lurk and make smutty comments on blogland?
Thanks for sending our Troops gifts and playing Santa to some lonely animals that need homes. Your a good shit no matter what they say!
Not to brag but I got mine out LAST week. (blowing on fingernails and rubbing on shoulder). Although the postman picks up our packages directly from my office so no lines for me.
Now I have to shop for the local charity who gave me a family of SIX this year. Apparently with the recession they have over 500 families that signed up. The deal at my house is we can't shop for any of our own family until we do our charities so I am hoping to knock two skateboards, a soccer ball, a basketball and four pair of converse sneakers out this weekend. May not be any MONEY left for my own kids but they are already spoiled enough. :-)
Thank you for all you are doing for the troops.
KyW, we can't do enough for those guys and gals doing the hard stuff for us.
Jessica, after Christmas is good, too.
Paxford, Nope! You HAVE to set on my lap to ask for anything, HOHOHO.
Carol, that's what I do, my calling in life, to piss people off and make them turn off their computers with my comments.
Christine, how do you get home pickup with the forms that have to be filled out and attached to the boxes?
Rosey, I don't do anything like some of my blogger friends do. But thank you anyway.
Awww. Look at you, all cute and shit.
and there I thought you were going to be a good citizen.
You can mail playboy etc to the troops in Asscrackistand and Icrap, but make sure it's a male troop or somebody might get offended.
If you mail booze, put it in plastic bottles and lots of bubble wrap and make sure it's addressed to a specific drunk...I mean soldier. They can always claim they had no idea who or what citizens are sending them.
Try to avoid"Any Soldier" because it may not go anywhere.
Oh that's just precious...you posing with a bunch of bitches in heat.
Say cheese!
You have a big heart, John. Now when you are posing with those dogs, just close your eyes and pretend they are those models in that last picture.
Clue, looking like shit is more like it.
Dude, I might send them a PB or something, but the booze stays with me.
Daffy, give a whole new meaning to ‘dog fashion’, huh?
That's awesome dude.
That's such a cool thing you did for our Troops.
Great seeing the man behind the comments too.
Just remember, your day may suck, but everyday above ground is a good day.
you are amazing, coffeypot!
~AM
Awwwww, Bless your old heart!! Say, we're looking for a black lab female (close to puppy age). Email me if there is one like that available without it costing heaven and earth. Our Humane Society up here charges so much...you'd think they would be happy to find homes for them and they would find more if they'd come down some on the prices. Anyway, bless you and your whole family...cause I know charity is a family affair. Hugs!
You are so awesome and I am proud to call you my friend! Sometimes I call you my old perverted friend but hey, it's Christmas, I will leave that part off for now! ;)
Folks, there is absolutely nothing awesome about me. Sending stuff to my dudes in The Suck is nothing but a little money spent. I do it mainly because I know how it was to not receive mail.
As for the animals, that is just a step-father helping out his daughter.
Nothing awesome about that. But thank you anyway for saying it.
So I guess it's true that all the Santas are old pervs?
kys, no, just me.
The haircut receives my stamp of approval Coffee. I myself prefer the #1 for deployments.
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