Monday, January 04, 2010

Second Red Neck Monday - Self Defense


Today is your lucky day. You get not one but two redneck segments. So go to the post following this one to see what a Blue Neck is.
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Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans
and Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

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Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or Oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing!

I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
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Republican's Answer:

BANG!
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Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??"

9 comments:

blueeyedtawni said...

ok i gotta admit ..
LOL that was just too funny but true :D
hehehe

Matty said...

Isn't this the truth!!

Just Another Momma said...

LOL! So funny and so true!

Ed Adams said...

LMFAO!

That's some funny shit right there, I don't care who you are.

Well.....unless you're the guy with the knife.

Trooper Thorn said...

The Canadian Liberal would convene a Parliamentry Committee to examine the root causes of violence.

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Once again ... very funny.

Very, very funny.

Carol said...

I'm a true republican but wouldn't mind swinging a little further south!

Mrsblogalot said...

O.K. this cracked me up!!!!!
Love, your newest follower (-:
Melyssa

Christine said...

With all your democrat abuse, you are damn lucky I luv ya!!!