Us'en Rednecks have a way wif words. There are hunnards of'em, but I won't tell them all to ya rat now. Just a few to wet ya wissle. If'fin y'all have any quessions, just leave'em in that thar comment box and I'll get to'em shortly.
He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.
Don't worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
That boy is about as sharp as a cue ball.
You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.( bad shot)
I'm bowed up like a Halloween Cat.
He's ridin' a gravy train on biscuit wheels.
Ain't no point in beatin' a dead horse...'course, can't hurt none either.
I'd love to have a dress just like that, but I don't go to many Puerto Rican proms.
Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire.
He's so stupid, he couldn't find his ass with both hands.
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
Nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a 5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than...
You catch more flies with jam than you do with vinegar.
As easy as herding chickens.
Richer than 3 feet up a bull's ass (bull manure is especially good fertilizer).
Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive.
I'm so hungry, I'd eat the balls off a low flying duck!
She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.
She's as useful as a tit on a boar hog.
Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
You're as handy as a cow on a crutch.
You got to be 10% smarter than the equipment you're runnin'.
My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play her.
She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish.
Hornier than a two pecker’ed billy goat.
Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor.