Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Living Will - I Have One For Ya

For many of us in the Autumn of our lives, we need to stop and consider (but not give into) the possibility that we could end up in a situation where we will not be able to make decisions for ourselves. Heart attack, stroke, caught by a jealous husband with a shotgun in his hand, you know, things. So it is wise for each of us to have a living will so that our desires and wishes are met and carried out the way we want them.

But how to make up a living will? No problem! Rest assured your purveyor of all things educational, medical and life improving - me - has found an example.


The ever wise Maxine has given us an example and one I will pass on to you for your consideration. Make sure you give a copy to your attorney, religious leader, the IRS and one to Obama as a trophy for the addition to the coffers your Inheritance (Death) Tax will provide.

My Living Will

I,_________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under not circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in running up the bills.

If a reasonable time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of Wine
Chocolate
Margarita
Sex
Martini
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Chicken Fried Steak
Cream Gravy
Sex
Mexican Food
Chocolate
French Fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice Cream
Cup of Tea
Chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate

It should be assumed that I won’t ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let ’the fat lady sing,’ and call it a day.

Then go have a drink…It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.

You're Welcome!
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9 comments:

Wreggie said...

Makes sense to me.

Charlene said...

I have a living will but it's not a cute as yours. I figure I die, spend the money you'd spend on flowers and all that bullshit on whiskey and rent out the funeral home for an orgy.

Coffeypot said...

Wreggie, I'm not as big a fan of chocolate as Maxine, but I'm a huge fan of the sex thing.

Charlene, welcome and I hope you enjoy your visit. I'll be over to check you out, too. Uh...your blog that is.

Ace said...

Love it! That Maxine's a smart cookie.

powdergirl said...

If your still planning on getting shot by a jealous husband, you're not really in the Autumn of your life just yet : )

Coffeypot said...

Ace, Maxine is brilliant! I'd do her.

PG, hey darling. I've missed you. Yes! I can still do it, but now she has to stand on her head and I just drop it in. :)

Southern (in)Sanity said...

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Coffee Slut said...

Too funny! You never fail to crack me up!
By the way, I have a couple of awards for you on my blog!

Lickety Splitter said...

Hah hah ... living wills are part of my lawyerly type job ... I'm gonna have to slide this one in the mix and see if we have any takers.