A fellow walks into a bar.
He notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.
He guesses there must be more than ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?'
'Well...you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money and the keys to a brand new Lexus.'
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. And so he asks, 'What are the three tests?'
'You must pay first...Those are the rules,' says the bartender.
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.
'Okay,' the bartender says, 'Here's what you need to do:
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in a minute or less, and you can't make a face while doing it.
Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back who hasn’t eaten in three days and is hurting with a bad tooth. You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands.
Third - There's a lady upstairs who has never had sex...You have to take care of that problem!'
The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things...'
'Your call,' says the bartender....'But, your money stays where it is.'
As time goes on, and the man has a few more drinks, and simmers and thinks. He finally says, 'Where's the damn tequila?'
He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can. Tears stream down both cheeks...but he doesn't make a face, and he did it in fifty-eight seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door, where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole. Soon the people inside the bar hear growling, biting, and screaming sounds...then nothing but silence!
Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar,
with his shirt ripped open and there are scratches and he's bleeding all over his body.
He says, 'Now where's that woman with the bad tooth?'
The moral to the story: Listen carefully to the directions, and don't trust your judgment when alcohol is involved!
I GOT TEARS IN MY EARS FROM LYIN' ON MY BACK IN MY BED WHILE I CRIED OVER YOU (& SOME GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC) - *(Reworked from an April, 2013 post.)* *Do you know what happens if you play country music backwards? You get your wife, your dog & your truck back!!* ...
6 minutes ago