Monday, October 25, 2010

Redneck Monday - Reasons You Might Be A Redneck

**** (Redneck Barbi) ****

Reasons you might be a Redneck:

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars.

You might be a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''

You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers ed in the same car.

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.


Matty said...

This could make me a borderline redneck.

Unknown said...

Happy Monday!

Barb said...

This just may impress you. One of my favorite professors in school could castrate lambs with her teeth. She sure was talented.

Anonymous said...

HAHA! I want redneck Barbie!!!

CI-Roller Dude said...

Ok, So I'm starting to think I may be a Redneck...