Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Stuck on Toilet 'Cause Toilet's Stuck On You

My wife, Judy, had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while Judy was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter, hoping to get back before she returned.

But wouldn‘t you know it, before I could get back, Judy came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, though, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. I was warned not to laugh or she wouldn’t visit me in the hospital - where I was sure to end up if I so much as smiled.

So to break her free we both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Judy wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (try to get a mental picture of this). Judy, being the trooper she is after 17 years of marriage to me, tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."

He is now a patient in the hospital.

So, with all humor aside, I have found the perfect toilet (see below) and I want one. I want one bad. If I got one of these, I would also hang a flat screen plasma TV on the wall and put a camper refrigerator in the bathroom with it and never come out.



Matty said...

OMG John. The doctor's comment is nothing short of hilarious. And please, please, PLEASE tell me you are making this all up.

Barb said...

"mounted and framed" LOL!

suz said...

I guess now I'm old enough to call it a "camper fridge" instead of a "dorm fridge."

Coffeypot said...

Matty, rest easy, my friend. I just plugged in our names.

Barb, I tried to GOOGLE it, but couldn't post the pictures.

Suz, I old enough that back in the day I would have called it an Ice Box.

Unknown said...

whew...glad to read you pasted your names! Otherwise I was going to ask "How's that couch working out for you?"

Anonymous said...

Now that was great.

Lickety Splitter said...

I bet Judy takes you with a full shaker of salt after all these years.