You Might Be A Blogger If...

In reading the many blogs I follow, plus visiting others that comment on those blogs, I noticed some of you wonder if blogging is right for you. And there are others who just lurk but never comment or have a blog of their own. And many wonder if they are a true blogger. Well, peeps, wonder no more.

If you can say ‘Yes’ to any of these, then you are an official blogger. And you lurkers and anonymous commenter’s out there, if you can answer any of these in the positive, then give it up and start your own blog. You are probably the most interesting person that has yet you be read.

So…

You might be a blogger if...

...you've ever secretly considered recording your friends for blog ideas.

...you daydream someone really important will read your blog and offer you:
a book deal.
a column.
a host opportunity.
to name their newborn child after you.

...you face motherhood embarrassment with a twinge of excitement knowing it's awesome blog fodder.

...your kids know what a blog is.

...you're living proof that truth is stranger than fiction.

...you still feel a teeny thrill every time you click "publish".

...your girlfriends preface conversations with, "Don't put this on your blog, but..."

...you feel like you've been blogging for a million+ years when it's really only been 10 months.

...you've been made to feel dirty (and not in a good way) by search terms.

...spam comments are so complimentary you consider approving them.

...your reader dominates you.

...you have cyber BFF's.

...your baby's first word was "blog".

...you drink wine and Tweet.

...you carry around a little notebook.

...you are part of at least 4 social networks.

...you've been bullied online.

...you've spent 4 hours trying to get the spacing just right.

...you feel devastated when you lose a follower.

...you assume that follower died because it's the only logical explanation.

...you have an alias.

...your alias sounds more natural to you than your own name.

...you have blog envy.

...you suddenly realize you should have paid closer attention to grammar in school.

...you feel the urge to hashtag outside the Twitterverse #perfectlyhealthy #perfectly normal.

...you know what "squee!" means.


And for those who want to become famous through blogging, here is a flow chart to help map your way.

 

You're Welcome!
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A GENTLE SHOULDER TAP

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question, gently tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking driver asked, "Are you OK? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.“

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, "I didn't realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle you so badly."

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm the one who is sorry; it's entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."

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The Story of Jonah, David and Goliath

Mary Margaret makes learning the Bible stories fun.





You Tube her...she has more.

Military Humor

There is no better humor than the thoughts and advice from our military.

Examples follow:

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal -

'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US Air Force Manual -

'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur -

'Tracers work both ways.'
- Army Ordnance Manual -

'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -

'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -

'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Infantry Recruit -

'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.'
- Infantry Journal -

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops -

'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore -

'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
- Unknown Author -

'If the wings are travelling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot -

'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
- Multi-Engine Training Manual -

'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
- Unknown Author -

'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!" the last two will be echoes.'
If you stop to ask "Why?" you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
- Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F-104 Pilot -

'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but if ATC screws up,.... the pilot dies.'
- Sign over Control Tower Door -

'Never trade luck for skill.'
- Author Unknown -

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh, S...!'
- Authors Unknown -

'Airspeed, altitude and brains: Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
- Basic Flight Training Manual -

'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist -

'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -

'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
- Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ -

'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'
The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'
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Some Thursday Video's To Get You Through Till TGIF

One more day till TGIF.

Thursday is the time of the week that your ass starts to drag, so I thought I’d pass on a few videos to help you get through the day - and the night if you need it.

This one I can identify with. I would love to be...uh...better be careful of what I wish for here. I could be one on Rosie O’Donnell's, then all I would get is slapped around by a tongue.


Also, now that Michael Waltrip has tried to retire, maybe it's time he passed on his tiera to...


And what would a compulation of videos be without Rodney.

I can identify to this one like no other.  Sad!

Signs Seen Hanging

Signs seen…:


Over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
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In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
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On a Septic Tank Truck:
“Yesterday's Meals on Wheels”
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At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
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On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
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On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
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On a Church's Bill board:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
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At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
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On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
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In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
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On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
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At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
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On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
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On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
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Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************
At the Electric Company
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."
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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************
At a Propane Filling Station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************
At a CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:
"Best place in town to take a leak."
**********************
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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Hang On Little Doggie

ONLY IN TEXAS!

A lady was telling her neighbor that she saw a man driving a pick-up truck down the interstate, and a dog was hanging onto the tailgate for dear life.

She said if the pick-up truck driver hadn't been going so fast in the other direction, she would have tried to stop him.

A few weeks later, her neighbor saw the truck at the local Bass Pro Shop.

The pick-up truck driver is a local TEXAS taxidermist with a great sense of humor.

Taxidermists are a twisted lot anyway. And it is not a dog; it is a Coyote.



Can you imagine how many people tried to stop this guy?



I would so put this on my truck, too. 

Elk Sex

Two rednecks are drinking in a bar.

One says, "Beau, did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"

"Aw shit, Clevon..," says Beau, "and I just joined the American Legion!”
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Tuesday Humor

WHAT I'VE LEARNED AS I MATURED

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big
weenie or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

And:

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

And Finally:

Two women friends had gone for a girls night out. Both were faithful and loving wives, however they had been over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home, they needed to pee. So they stopped in the cemetery. They had nothing to wipe with, so one of them decided to take off her underwear and use them. Her friend however, was wearing an expensive pair and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These girls nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!"

"That's nothing," said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her a$$ that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.' "

Hope these helped you through the day.

Girl Scout Cookies

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable…except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, 5-6 at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

12. Definition: The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Here is some advice that could help with much of the Murphy's Law Syndrom:

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor said it best: "Before speaking out ask yourself whether your words are true, whether they are respectful and whether THEY ARE NEEDED in our civil discussions."

The military also has some Murphy's Law stuff, too:

I Be Me

Just in case you wanted to know.


Fun - custom homepage

A Little Animal Humor

As promised, a little animal humor

But don't forget to watch the Vince Gill video after this post.

It's Hard To Kiss The Lips...

There is a lot of truth to this...



The group is the Noiorious Cherry Bombs with Rodney Crowell and Vince Gill singing.

I got a good chuckl out of this and is a great way to start off the NASCAR race today.

Enjoy!

Home Again - After A Windy Road Trip

                                   (Thanks Google - Not The Truck I Saw)

Well I made it home, and I am on where near as tired as I was last week. Just been reading and catching up on the mail.

It is still cold in NY with a slight drizzle and frozen snow on the ground. The temperature will get above 32 degrees for awhile, just enough to melt some of the snow. Then drop again and freeze the runoff. This causes the snow to freeze smoothly and looks like porcelain.

However, as soon as I crossed into NJ, the sun came out and stayed out the rest of the trip. But, when I stopped in Winchester, VA for the night, the wind was up. I walked over to the Texas Steak House and Saloon for dinner. On the way back the wind was blowing and gusting so hard I looked like a drunk walking across the parking lot.

Again, this morning, when I drove to the gas station across the street from the motel to load up, the wind was blowing so hard I had to turn my back to it. I had to hold on to my cap and, because my back was to the wind, I passed the same fart five times before the gas tank was full.

Then back on I-81, there was a tractor trailer on it’s left side. The wind had just flipped it over. And I had to stay up on the wheel (NASCAR term for really holding on and paying attention.) As long as I was driving between hills, the wind was manageable, but, if you have ever driven thought the Shenandoah Valley, you know that there are many miles of flat or down grade country land on both sides of the road. The wind gust will give you a thrill like a ride at the fair.

I tried to stay in the right lane as much as possible (not were I like to drive) so I could have maneuvering room when the wind moved the van over. Once I was in the left lane passing a tandem semi (two trailers) when we came out from the protections of a wind break and he almost jacked-knife. The wind gust was shaking his trailers and he was heading for the left lane. I was over half way past him so I stomped on the gas to get by him to give him maneuvering room, but he pushed me into the grassy medium. I thought I was gonna turn over, but turned to the left to get back under control, then I got back on the road as soon as I cleared his cab. I looked in the mirror and he was giving me a thumbs up and a head shake to let me know how close we came to making a boo boo.

After that, the wind seem to die down and I was able to cruse on back to the Big A (or the Big W as the case may be.)

There always seems to be something happening on these trips. Keeps the driving interesting. But now I am driving my easy chair. Later on I will post some cute and funny animal pictures. But right now…zzzzzzzzzz

Going, Going, Gone - Again plus Video of Dog Having Kittens For Dinner

Yep! It's that time again.  I had so much fun last week that I thought I would do it again this weekend.

But before I leave, let me show you a dog having kittens for lunch.




Gotta love the strangeness of this world we live in.

Shetland Western

Man, I love a good Western.



John Wayne, eat your heart out.

Husband Down

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

“What do you think you're doing?” asks the wife.

“They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” he replies.

“Put them back, we can't afford them.” demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

“What do you think you're doing?” asks the husband.

“It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” replies the wife.

“So does 24 cans of Budweiser - and it's half the price.” he says.

“HUSBAND DOWN!, HUSBAND DOWN!, AISLE 7”
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Tuesday Musical Interlude - Kids Style

Who needs American Idol or America's Got Talent?


We have gifted, talented kids.

This is Jorge Narvaez and his daughter, Alexa.  I am totally in love with this little lady, but you can see that she is totaly in love with her dad.

I love how she just leans on her dads arm and sings her heart out.



Such a drama queen and so gifted. Yep! I'm in love.

 
This little girl rocks the guitar, too. 
And the guitar looks so big, like and adult playing a bass fiddle.

 
And this group...wow.  Cross legged, too.

 
Cool Kids, HUH?

Happy Valentine's Day

I almost forgot what day this is. 

Sorry! 

Ladies, this is for you.




Men...kiss my ass.

Signs Of The Times