Sunday, March 06, 2011

Andy Rooney On Women Over 50

       60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

“As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night & ask, 'What are you thinking?'  She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it.  She goes and does something she wants to do & it's usually more interesting.

Women over 50 are dignified.  They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.  Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved.  They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age.  You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest.  They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk or if you are acting like one.  You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons.  Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.  For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 50, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.  Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ Here's an update for you.

Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.


Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!


suz said...

Chuckle, chuckle, yesss! Chuckle, yup, thanks for noticing, chuckle, chuckle, BAAAAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks Coffeypot! Made my night!

Coffeypot said...

Yeah! I've heard that before. Glady you got a laugh tonight, though. And I've had that happen before, too.

Anonymous said...

OMG!! Love the Pig and Sausage!!

Belle said...

My mom, who is 83, will love this!

Marnie said...

I like Andy Rooney :0) Great post.

myevil3yearold said...

Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”

That line is F-U-N-N-Y

Biddie said...

Love it!

Valerie said...

If I could write music I'd make this into a song and post it as my anthem and sing it at our 50 and Fabulous celebration in 5 years. Loved your comments over at Sandra's - "No one has control over your emotions" - So important to remember.

anon said...

Only 80 % ? Huh.

Good one John, I'll be 50 in 3 years, could you post this again then? : )

gayle said...

These are very true!! We never talk to our husbands in the middle of the night!!

Mrs4444 said...

This is funny (and largely true, I'm GUESSING, since I'm YEARS away from turning 50, of COURSE!)