THE GOOD OLD DAYS (Sailor Lingo)

Me and Willy were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkey shit around a fitting on a handybilly. All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator.

Maybe being blackshoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle of cans didn't set right with either of those gobs. The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the penis machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch him in the snot locker. He'd probably wind up on the binnacle list but Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself above board.

We heard the skivvywaver announce over the bitch box that the bread- burners had SOS ready on the mess decks so we cut and run to avoid the clusterfuck when the twidgets and cannon cockers knew chow was on.

We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up and threw the brow over. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging. Might even hit the acey-duecy club and try to hook up with a WestPac Widow. They were always leaving snail trails on the dance floor on amateur night. 

Now, for you Land Lubbers OR those of you who may have forgotten...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
lollygagging---goofing off
scuttlebutt---drinking fountain
aloft---in the superstructure
boy butter---light tan grease or silicone grease - for antennas and masts
bollard---attached to a pier or deck to secure mooring lines.
bilge rats---engineering ratings
flangeheads---enginemen
crescent hammers---crescent wrenches
monkey shit---clay like substance used to pack cableways that penetrate decks to help make them watertight.
handybilly---P500 submersible pump
dicksmith---Hospital Corpsman(medic)
hard-assing---giving someone a hard time verbally
deck ape---personnel assigned to the deck gang, usually Boatswain Mates
pogey bait---any sweet stuff like candy, etc....(bought in the gee-dunk)
gee-dunk---place to buy pogey bait
sewer pipe---submarine
gator---ships of the amphibious force
blackshoes---non-aviation ratings
bird farm---Aircraft Carrier
cans---destroyers
gobs---sailors
hatch---doors, entrances through a bulkhead (wall)
dogged it--- activate a handle that puts the locks into place
penis machinist---Hospital Corpsman
lay below---to go to a lower level of the ship...below the weather decks
snot locker---nose
binnacle list---medical department list of personnel in a no/light duty status
Gundeck---to falsify a record
deep six---to throw overboard
skivvywavers---Signalmen
breadburners---cooks [or stew-burners, gut-robbers, belly-robbers]
SOS---shit on a shingle (creamed chipped beef on toast)
clusterfuck---self-explanatory [Chinese fire drill, to those less PC
twidgets---men who work in electronics fields
cannon cockers---Gunnersmates
balls to the wall---full speed ahead
barn---home port
hit the beach---go on liberty
doubled up---moored securely to the pier with two layers of rope
brow---walkway from ship/shore/ship
ditty bag---small canvas bag issued to sailors to keep incidentals in
fufu juice---cologne
bar hogs---young/old ladies who frequent sailor bars
bosnias---big old standard navy issue asses
brown bagging---refers to married sailors who live off the ship
while in port and bring lunch in a brown bag.
acey-duecy club---club for E5s and E6s (1st class PO/2nd class PO)
WestPac Widow---women whose husbands are at sea on the Western Pacific
amateur night---payday night