Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Idle Thoughts Of A Retiree's Wandering Mind:

















I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it
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I had amnesia once---or twice
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
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Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
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If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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How can there be self-help "groups"?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
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Is it me...or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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A college education doesn't make you any smarter,
it just gives you a bigger vocabulary to express your inadequacies. 
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5 comments:

Rita said...

Didn't read the rest as I got stuck on #3. My heart was left in San Francisco and Bennett just stomped it into mash.

Right now I feel like screaming from the mountaintops. Finding out the man that sang that song is nothing short of a traitor will stain every memory I have of the song and that beautiful, yet crazy city.

I'm trying hard not to be angry, but he just took away a big part of my soul and my family's history.

My only solace is that the idiot just wrote the last paragraph of his obituary, and he had now apparently realized his vile comments will live longer than he will.

The Writer Currently Known as Rory said...

A college education doesn't make you any smarter,
it just gives you a bigger vocabulary to express your inadequacies.


Damn right, which is why I don't have one. ;)

Stacy said...

The one about being polite and unable to merge onto the freeway is so true. It's taken me a lifetime to get the mentality that allows me to do that.

The Empress said...

You're so right. We get older, and we think more and more of how things really are.

We see so much differently.

It's kind of sad sometimes, when we think of how we can't change what's done.

Life goes on, whether or not we're tuned into it, life goes on.

Jamie said...

Loved this.

Happy Monday...bleh. :)