Monday, January 30, 2012

The Eyes Tell It All
















As most of you know, I am not a very religious man.  I do have my relations with God and I am comfortable about that, but I hate organized religion.  There is so much hate and bigotry in the church that I cannot stand to be around ‘those people.’

But I was raised in a good Baptist Church and most of the kids I grew up with are respected members of that church today.  Deacons, organist and piano accompanists as well as active members in the old community are the same ones I grew up with.  Not me!  For some reason I felt excluded from the masses when I came home from the Navy and never really fit in again.  Mostly of my making, I now realize, but still was real at the time.

So I do not go to church.  Judy is Catholic, but does not attend services either.  However sometimes I get a little nostalgic and want to visit the old church.  So on Sunday I moseyed on down for a visit.  Judy didn’t go because she’s Catholic, ya know.

When I came home I was sporting, not one, but two black eyes.  She was very upset and wanted to know what happened.   It wasn’t much I assured her.  I was just trying to be helpful.

Ya see, we were sitting in the pews and were told to stand to sing a song.  I noticed old fat Mrs. Snobbyass, in the pew in front of me, had her dress stuck in the crack of her ass, so I reached over and pulled it out.  She gave a whelp, turned and punched me in the eye.   Judy said she didn’t blame her, but wanted to know how I got the other one blackened.

I told her I was so upset and embarrassed for what I did, but figured she wanted her dress that way, so I put it back.

The right eye should be opening in a day or two.


7 comments:

Rita said...

Looks like airbag deploying on glasses to me.

Venom said...

That should teach you not to reach into cracks when you don't even know how deep they are...

Coffeypot said...

Rita, she was a big airbag. (the last have was just a joke.)

Venom, no telling what might have been snapping at me from in there.

powdergirl said...

That'll teach you to try doing a coupla favors for Mrs Snobbyass. If that even her real name...

Janie Junebug said...

I think Mrs. Snobbyass is related to Elisa's Miss Priss who is related to every girlfriend Dr. X had while we were married. Suddenly I feel very tired.

Love,
Janie

Lickety Splitter said...

Hah hah ... silly man!

Not So Simply Single said...

YOU are HILARIOUS! Feel better for goodness sake....OUCH!
Lisa