As most of you know, I am not a very religious man. I do have my relations with God and I am comfortable about that, but I hate organized religion. There is so much hate and bigotry in the church that I cannot stand to be around ‘those people.’
But I was raised in a good Baptist Church and most of the kids I grew up with are respected members of that church today. Deacons, organist and piano accompanists as well as active members in the old community are the same ones I grew up with. Not me! For some reason I felt excluded from the masses when I came home from the Navy and never really fit in again. Mostly of my making, I now realize, but still was real at the time.
So I do not go to church. Judy is Catholic, but does not attend services either. However sometimes I get a little nostalgic and want to visit the old church. So on Sunday I moseyed on down for a visit. Judy didn’t go because she’s Catholic, ya know.
When I came home I was sporting, not one, but two black eyes. She was very upset and wanted to know what happened. It wasn’t much I assured her. I was just trying to be helpful.
Ya see, we were sitting in the pews and were told to stand to sing a song. I noticed old fat Mrs. Snobbyass, in the pew in front of me, had her dress stuck in the crack of her ass, so I reached over and pulled it out. She gave a whelp, turned and punched me in the eye. Judy said she didn’t blame her, but wanted to know how I got the other one blackened.
I told her I was so upset and embarrassed for what I did, but figured she wanted her dress that way, so I put it back.
The right eye should be opening in a day or two.