Saturday, January 14, 2012

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
















Sometimes sitting around in my retirement I get to wondering about things.  And I found out that there as so many more questions than I have answers.   

And I'm  sure you have some of your own, so add them to the list in the comments.  I mean, it's not like I don't have enough to think about as it is.

So here goes:

Why does Hawaii have an interstate parkway?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

And finally, how come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


8 comments:

Gia said...

Oh i totally think about the warm in winter/cold in summer thing. That's why I like my house to be at about 67 year round. People think I'm crazy in the winter.

Janie Junebug said...

It drives me insane when people set their AC on such a cold temp that you freeze in their house, but during the winter the house is too warm. I have no answers for any of those questions. I merely have more questions.

Love,
Janie Hugejugs

Beau's Mom said...

I always thought you had all the answers, now I realize you're as full of questions as you are. . . . .

On the other hand, it shows you're a deep thinker.

Coffeypot said...

I just thought of another...Why are there more horses asses than there are horses?

That Janie Girl said...

You are TOO funny! How do you think of all these things???

(PS - thanks for not giving up on me during my period of silence!)

Pamela said...

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes.. and Baa Baa Black Sheep, makes three!

The Reckmonster said...

I can't wait to be retired so that I can think of these monumentally important questions of life!!!

Will you be publishing the answers too?!!!

MLYLT!!!

Beau's Mom said...

Hey. I don't see my blog under your favorites. You've got everyone else's. dammit