Monday, April 23, 2012

Planning On Having A Baby?

Some of you out there are planning on having a baby one day or fathering one. To help you make up your mind and prepare you for the future I have researched (my email) and found the most asked questions. These should help you out.

You’re welcome!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No! 35 children is enough.

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after the finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?

A: Childbirth!

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.

A: So what’s your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says its not pain I’ll be feeling during labor, but pressure. Is she right?

A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?

A: Right after you find out you are pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?

A: Not unless the word ‘alimony’ means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?

A: Yes! Pregnancy!

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?

A: Not if you change the diaper very quickly.

Q: My baby was born last week. When will my wife began to feel and act normal again?

A: When the kids are in college.


Janie Junebug said...

I think pregnancy is definitely the best thing to avoid while recovering from childbirth. Dr. X's youngest sister and brother are 10 months apart. I don't know how my mother-in-law did "it." Owwwwwwwww.


NavyOne said...

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? Ha ha, too funny!

Barb said...

The best advice I got while I was pregnant with my first child was to take a goat to the grocery store. Buy everything it took off the shelf and clean up any messes it made. That's what it's like to have a small child.

Barb said...

But my 15-yr-old will be 16 tomorrow and wants to go straight to the DMV to get his license. What kind of advice do you have for that? :)

Coffeypot said...

Janie, I was in college with a dude who had two boys born on the same day a year apart. But ten months???

N1, it's not like a Navy Shower.

Barb, Pray...then give him a goat to ride.

Not So Simply Single said...


Love it!

Momma Fargo said...

Haha! And on a serious note, you know as I do..we love every minute of the little fellers even when they are naughty and cost us money. LOL