Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Simple Truths and Rules of Life


























SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE…
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

THERE YOU HAVE IT...and remember, life is good.


6 comments:

myevil3yearold said...

Simple Truth 2 made me spew yoo-hoo on my laptop.

Old NFO said...

All good ones! :-) And can't disagree with any of them!!!

GunDiva said...

Loved Simple Truth #2!

Venom said...

"..neither has milk.'

Hah!
That never occurred to me as excuse, but now I dare anyone to try and tell me it isn't a valid point.

Thanks Coffey.

NavyOne said...

Ha ha, good job!

Lil Dreamer said...

Love it! This is just what I needed tonight!! Thanks Coffey!! (And keep your hands to yourself!!)