Wednesday, October 23, 2013

ONE-LINER QUESTIONS THAT KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGH:














Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Doesn't “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?
Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things?
Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do we park on a driveway & drive on a parkway?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


Now, do you have any?

6 comments:

Janie Junebug said...

Yes.
Because.
We would know because I would know the correct spelling.
A whack is what makes things work correctly. Look it up.
Because.
Because.
Because.
Because.
Because it's just become dark.
No.
Correct idiomatic English.
Because.
It is.
They're part of the stage.
It's soft and touchable.
Probably not.
For the same reason trousers is singular. Panties is not plural.
Because a miracle could occur.
Because I decreed it.
Because it's what God wants us to do.
The towel might touch the floor and get dog hair on it. Besides, if you dry your butt crack, oooooo – wash the towel.
It does. That's not glue that comes out. It's paste eaten by elementary school children and then regurgitated into the glue bottle.

I'm sorry, but I have no questions. Answers only here.

Love,
Janie




Old NFO said...

LOL, figures that a woman would have the answers... Way to go Janie! :-D

Not So Simply Single said...

Dare I not say what I am thinking....

ravenjanedoh said...

I'll give your the same answer I give my kids;
"Because I said so", or "God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes those ways occur after he's been hitting the sacramental wine." ... ::bolt of lightning:::

Timothy Hecht said...

My NSA has it's eye on you, troublemaker.

J-Tony said...

I just laughed out loud at a few of these. All very good questions.