OLD GEEZERS

ME AND CHUCK DECIDE THAT WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO OUR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, WE END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OF US AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, “GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.”

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND CHUCK AND I GO UPSTAIRS TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

AS WE WERE WALKING HOME I TURN TO CHUCK AND SAID,
“YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!”

“DEAD?” SAYS CHUCK, “WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?”

“WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS HUMPING HER.”

CHUCK SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SAYS, “COULD BE WORSE. I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.”

“A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

“WELL,” HE SAID, “I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND STUFF, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE LOVE BITE. THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER, TOO!”

Three Generals

I told you guys that I sent a couple of days with an old shipmate in Chattanooga last week. Chuck is one of the fingers on my one hand (friends) and I would be glad and feel safe to have him on my six anytime, anhywhere.

Chuck is a deacon in the Catholic Church and as such can give sermons, which he does often, and most everything a priest can do except give absolution and hear confessions and molest little boys.

He is retired from some company where he did photo shoots for catalogs and volunteered his time as a prison minister. He didn’t actually preach in the jails and prisons, he just mostly listen to the men talk. He is well known and loved in the Illinois penal system and in his church community. And he is my friend.

While we were together, I took them down to Kennesaw, GA, to the museum that houses The General, the train William Andrews and his men stole at Big Shanty (now Kennesaw) and started the Great Locomotive Chase. Maryann, his wife, took this picture and Chuck titled it, “The Three Generals.” Cool, huh?

Y'all note: The Haversack Chuck is wearing as a camera case is an actual Civil War Haversack.