TRANSLATIONS
DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................50+
Adventurous...............................................Will sleep with anyone
Athletic..................................................Has a job
Average looking...........................................Beer Belly
Handsome..................................................Gray hair
Emotionally secure........................................Drinks alot
Contagious smile..........................................Really drinks alot
Friendship first..........................................I'll use a condom
Fun.......................................................See contagious smile
Open minded...............................................Will your girlfriend join us?
Outgoing..................................................See contagious smile
Passionate................................................Doesn't mind foreplay first
Wants soul mate...........................................I need a live in maid!
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................49
Adventurous...............................................Slept with everyone
Athletic..................................................No Tits
Average looking...........................................Homely
Beautiful.................................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure........................................Does prescription pills
Contagious smile..........................................Does any pills
Feminist..................................................Butch
Free spirit...............................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................................Trying to kick the slutty habit
Fun.......................................................Annoying
New age...................................................Body hair everywhere
Open minded...............................................Desperate
Outgoing..................................................Loud & embarrassing
Passionate................................................Sloppy drunk
Professional..............................................Bitch
Wants soul mate...........................................Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1 Yes = No
2 No = Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want
5 I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = Your in trouble
7 Sure go ahead = You better not
8 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
10 Your very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage !
5 I love you = Lets have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 May I have this dance = I want to have sex with you!
8 Can I call you sometime? = I want to have sex with you!
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I want to have sex with you!
10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I want to have sex with you!
11 Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay!
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