Wednesday, September 09, 2009

TRANSLATIONS & OTHER STUFF

 

TRANSLATIONS

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................50+
Adventurous...............................................Will sleep with anyone
Athletic..................................................Has a job
Average looking...........................................Beer Belly
Handsome..................................................Gray hair
Emotionally secure........................................Drinks alot
Contagious smile..........................................Really drinks alot
Friendship first..........................................I'll use a condom
Fun.......................................................See contagious smile
Open minded...............................................Will your girlfriend join us?
Outgoing..................................................See contagious smile
Passionate................................................Doesn't mind foreplay first
Wants soul mate...........................................I need a live in maid!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................49
Adventurous...............................................Slept with everyone
Athletic..................................................No Tits
Average looking...........................................Homely
Beautiful.................................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure........................................Does prescription pills
Contagious smile..........................................Does any pills
Feminist..................................................Butch
Free spirit...............................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................................Trying to kick the slutty habit
Fun.......................................................Annoying
New age...................................................Body hair everywhere
Open minded...............................................Desperate
Outgoing..................................................Loud & embarrassing
Passionate................................................Sloppy drunk
Professional..............................................Bitch
Wants soul mate...........................................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1 Yes = No
2 No = Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want
5 I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = Your in trouble
7 Sure go ahead = You better not
8 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
10 Your very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage !
5 I love you = Lets have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 May I have this dance = I want to have sex with you!
8 Can I call you sometime? = I want to have sex with you!
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I want to have sex with you!
10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I want to have sex with you!
11 Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay!
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7 comments:

LL said...

I'd say that vocabulary translation guide is spot on.

Red said...

There is so much truth in those translations!!

AirmanMom said...

fun post!
~AM

Christine said...

Unfortunately, these aren't even funny because they are so true. Sigh...

Secretia Teller said...

That was really excellent! Translating the terms in all those personal ads! You really said it like it is. I get a lot of interesting secrets posted on my new blog "Secret Story Time". The blog is New, only 4 days old, but it's getting read! You would like to visit it, I know!
You're invited!! (anonymously if you like)

Secretia

Hillbilly Duhn said...

I can't say those are exact on for the man v.s. woman translations. Sure, hubs' says he's hungry or tired, he means those things, but the rest, those should have been under woman for me. I want sex all the time, and he don't.

Coffeypot said...

Hillbilly Duhn, first, thanks for stopping by and welcome.

But more importantly, CALL ME. I can help you out. I mean, as a friend of course. What are friends for?