I told Her Indoors that I would send a list of what women and men really mean when they answer questions. Enjoy!
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry.
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You had better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
1. I am hungry = I am hungry!
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy!
3. I am tired = I am tired!
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay!!!
I GOT TEARS IN MY EARS FROM LYIN' ON MY BACK IN MY BED WHILE I CRIED OVER YOU (& SOME GREAT COUNTRY MUSIC) - *(Reworked from an April, 2013 post.)* *Do you know what happens if you play country music backwards? You get your wife, your dog & your truck back!!* ...
5 minutes ago