Friday, February 15, 2008

The Lighter Side

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but they may not be the right thousand words.

It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.

Math illiteracy affects eight out of every five people.

People usually get what’s coming to them… unless it was mailed.

Always write in complete sentences. Always.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat.

Trust your first impressions. It seems that thinking only confuses you.

Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark?

When the going gets though, everyone leaves.

The sports page records people’s accomplishments; the front page usually records nothing but man’s failures. – Earl Warren

Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year – “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc. A freshman looking curiously at the photos turned to his buddy and said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?”

11 comments:

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

HIGH-lairious! LOL! :-D

katy said...

Very Good! my computer sure makes loads of mistakes, and you know what it never says sorry either!

Jodi said...

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog won’t eat.

How is it you have eaten my cooking?

J.

Burfica said...

all very funny and very true. lmaoooooo

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

how about those buggers who put bumper stickers on their car saying "IN CASE OF RAPTURE, THIS CAR WILL BE ABANDONED." Aren't they committing the sin of PRIDE? Doesn't that mean they're NOT being raptured??

"why do they call them buildings if they're already done building them? why not just call them 'builts'?? Or 'crumblings' as the case may be."

---Galligher

Coffeypot said...

katy, my computer makes mistakes all the time. Just read some of my blogs and comments. I looked into it and found out it was the loose nut in front of the keyboard that causes it.

hooter j, I heard that you use the smoke alarm for a timer in the kitchen.

hot lemon, I too wondered about that slogan. If they go with the rapture and their car hits someone else and kills them, will they be sent back? I guess they are covered by a "grandfather clause" or something.

Jodi said...

Har, har.

You're soooooo funny.

Funny-looking, that is. (poke)

J.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.

You get looked over when you're young and overlooked when yr old.

Coffeypot said...

Mary, so true.

ccw said...

One point! Oh, that is so sad and funny.

Brother Dave said...

After all is said and done, there is usually more said than done.