Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Contort This

Two women were talking about their lives since they had become nursing home residents.

They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died since she and her husband had come to the nursing home.

The other woman said that her sex life was great. “The secret t great sex is this,” the woman told her, “when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night.”

Ethel says, “I’m going to try that tonight.”

When Ethel’s husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes and sits on the side of the bed. Although it was a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she got the other leg behind her had as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backward and can’t move.

Not long afterward her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, he yells, “For God’s sake, Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an asshole.”

The divorce proceedings start on Monday.
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Olly said...


CI-Roller Dude said...

I laughed so hard, coffee came out my nose.

Coffeypot said...

Dude, then I succeeded.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been able to get my legs behind my head for 40 years, and if I could, Joe would still need directions. p.s. How much money DO you owe me?????

Coffeypot said...

Okay, Dana. Just because we are friends, if you assume the position I'll show Joe just one time how and what to do. Then we will call it even and I won't owe you anything.

Christine said...

The cartoon cracked me up...the joke below was merely the bonus. :-)