Monday, December 14, 2009

A Couple of Humurous Nothings

These two are from my friend, Julie.


and

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy , you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"
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8 comments:

Matty said...

Once again, I get a few good laughs.

Christine said...

Oh crap, you said the T word. Okay, well I guess in a joke it is acceptable. :-)

Daffy said...

Sweet! Perfect! Spot on! A hole in one....or nine if you're a greedy bastard....

Carol said...

I am so glad I don't pay much attention to the news or watch TV cuz' this whole Tiger would really drive me crazy.

Secretia said...

Two good ones today, John!

The Peach Tart said...

The Tiger one was great.

Mala said...

HA!!!!!! That's fabulous!!!!

Ed Adams said...

Ha, that's the same shit I sent you in an email. I should have read this post first.