Sunday, December 13, 2009

Redneck Monday - Pick-Up Lines

Redneck Pick-Up Lines:

1) Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I' d store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep till afternoon.

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

14) Your eyes are as pretty as two hen turds in a bowl of clabber.

15) Darlin', your ears are a cut as mud-flaps on a gopher’s ass.

Now I know you ladies are swooning already, but pull yourself together. I wasn’t applying my Southern Redneck charm directly at you. I was just giving you an example of what to expect when you meet some of us good ole boys. When you do, THEN you can let the ‘panty puddin’ begin.


Unknown said...

"My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in" Now that's hot!

Paxford said...

Subtle yet winning... So Coffey tell us YOUR best pick up lines - I'm sure they'll be amusing

Anonymous said...

Those are unique lines.

Ed said...

With pickups like these, who needs confidence?

Just like the Masked Magician, you've ruined the magic.
Now rednecks everywhere will have to think up new lines in order to date their sister.

CindyDianne said...

Oh Lord.

CI-Roller Dude said...

...and don't forget, them thar' dudes are goin' to family reunions to meet them chicks.

Ducky said...

I think I know that guy in the picture....

Should I even admit to having been the recipient of several of those lines???

clew said...

I've used versions of #7 in girl talk myself... What does that say about me? Hmmm ...

Coffeypot said...

JAM (yummy acronym) I could woo you for hours with my loving lines.

Pax, You have to break the ice first so one of my best lines is, you sidle up to the lady and ask, "You like peanut butter?" What ever she answers, I say, "Yeah? Me too. Let's fuck."

Secretia, not if you are from the South.

Ed, you don't need lines to date your sister. You just tell pa to get off, that y'all gotta go get a jug and motel.

CindyDianne, how they do it in Texas.

Dude, we sometimes meet a good one at the tractor-pull.

Daffy, darling, I bet men and boys have been saying all kinds of shit to get into your knickers. What line did hubs use to win your heart and drop your drawers?

Clew, so how many women have you picked up with that line? But the truth is, we all look better near closing time, but the confidence that the light will be off helps, too.