Redneck Monday - WalMart Quote and Mo Sayings

(Wanna Ring That Door Bell?)

Even Redneck Women know the importance of dressing up for swanky places:


AND NOW, MORE REDNECK SAYINGS:

He’s slower than molasses runnin up hill in July.

That’s funnier then watchen a retard get laid.

Busier than a cucumber in a women's prison!

I'm so hungry my belly button is sticking out of my ass hole.

Well knock me down and steal my teeth!

He swapped legs with a jaybird and got cheated out of a butt.

It's hotter than a spanked baby's ass out here.

You can't get blood from a turnip.

He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of July.
(Cooter Brown is a name used in metaphors and similes for drunkenness.)

That BBQ is tangier than my brother's cutoffs.

He's so scared you couldn't drive a wet watermelon seed up his butt with a sledge hammer.

He's handier than a pocket on a shirt.

If I had that swing on my back porch I’d ride it every night.
(Watching a girl walk by)

Champane Taste On Soda Pop Salary.

My sister's soooo ugly, my mom had to get drunk to breastfeed her!

I'm so poor if I stepped on worn out dime I'd bet you a nickel I could tell you whether it's heads or tails.

It's Hotter n' hell's basement on the day of reckonin'.

You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a handful of rice!

He Was As Low As The Ex's Lawyer

It’s hotter than 4 or 5 fat bitches in an Escort

That's all for now.

Alright, Stop It!

I hear that clapping and whistling.

Just for that, I'll be back next Monday with more Redneck goodies.
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