Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Observations on Growing Older


~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good...Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price.  Now you get discounts on everything...movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names...but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything....especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed.  It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?  Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married.”

~Now you say, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You used to use more 4 letter words..."what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired you'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet...2 of which you will never wear.

~But old is good in some things:
Old Songs,
Old Movies,
And best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

Remember:
It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.
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8 comments:

Ed said...

Nobody does words of wisdom quite like you, Oldman.

CI-Roller Dude said...

Did you see 60 Minutes the other night? They had a story about these people with really amazing memories.

I was NOT on the show.

Mike Golch said...

bringing clean underwear in case of an accident,I'm already there.

Lickety Splitter said...

Thanks for consistently reminding me of what I have to look forward to, so that I can appreciate the here and now ;)

Coffeypot said...

Ed, wisdom is why many cultures revier the elderly...just not at my house.

Dude, I did see it and I was also asked to be on the show...I think. Not sure!

Mike, I think that if I had an accident the skivvies would pretty much be messed up.

LS, even at my age I still enjoy each day becuse I plan on being old one day, too.

Coffee Slut said...

Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Paxford said...

Bwhahaha! I plan to live the following quote when I'm older

"When I'm old, I don't want them to say of me, "She's so charming." I want them to say, "Be careful, I think she's armed." -G. Stoddart

Pax

Riley Carson said...

Oh yeah, my parents just hope I keep this husband around ;-) otherwise I'll end up like Elizabeth Taylor.