I was perusing my daily bogs when I read that one of my friends was talking about being menopausal. I won’t say which friend because she is my friend, but I may not be hers. And she may not want the blogging world to know she is menopausal or worse, that she reads my stuff. Plus she is menopausal and I do not want to piss her off.
But in her honor (or because I want to make fun of her at a distance) I am presenting a few observations on the subject.
Now I have to go hide for a decade or two.
What’s the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause? Lipstick!
What’s the best way for a husband to predict the mood of his menopausal wife? Assume her mood will be lousy and occasionally he will be wrong.
What’s 10 times worse than a woman in menopause? Two women in menopause.
Since women go through menopause do men go through womenopause?
Is it called menopause because every time she hears a man speak she has to pause or she will knock the shit out of him?
When is a man most likely to complain about the mood swings of his menopausal wife? When she’s not present.
If a woman in menopause were an earthquake, the earth would be in a million tiny pieces.
What is scarier, a puppy or a rational woman in menopause? The puppy! A rational woman in menopause doesn’t exist.
If you are looking for stability in your life, befriend a menopausal woman. Suddenly everything in your life seems rock-solid stable.
You are safer teasing a grizzly bear with cubs than to tell a menopausal woman she’s moody.
There’s more but you get the idea. (said from behind the couch.)
Thank God I’m a man!