Thank God I’m A Man!

I was perusing my daily bogs when I read that one of my friends was talking about being menopausal.  I won’t say which friend because she is my friend, but I may not be hers.  And she may not want the blogging world to know she is menopausal or worse, that she reads my stuff.  Plus she is menopausal and I do not want to piss her off.

But in her honor (or because I want to make fun of her at a distance) I am presenting a few observations on the subject.

Now I have to go hide for a decade or two.

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What’s the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?  Lipstick!

What’s the best way for a husband to predict the mood of his menopausal wife?  Assume her mood will be lousy and occasionally he will be wrong.

What’s 10 times worse than a woman in menopause?  Two women in menopause.

Since women go through menopause do men go through womenopause?

Is it called menopause because every time she hears a man speak she has to pause or she will knock the shit out of him?

When is a man most likely to complain about the mood swings of his menopausal wife?  When she’s not present.

If a woman in menopause were an earthquake, the earth would be in a million tiny pieces.

What is scarier, a puppy or a rational woman in menopause?  The puppy!  A rational woman in menopause doesn’t exist.

If you are looking for stability in your life, befriend a menopausal woman.  Suddenly everything in your life seems rock-solid stable.

You are safer teasing a grizzly bear with cubs than to tell a menopausal woman she’s moody.

There’s more but you get the idea. (said from behind the couch.)

Thank God I’m a man!