Thursday, December 27, 2012

The Simple Man

Men are such simple creatures!

Our last name stays put.
The garage is all ours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
We can be President.

We can never be pregnant.
We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
We can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell us the truth.
The world is our urinal.

We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000; Tux rental $100!
People never stare at our chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
One mood all the time!
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

We know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

We can open all our own jars.
We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
We almost never have strap problems in public.

We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
Everything on our face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

We only have to shave our face and neck. 
We can play with toys all our life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons!

We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.
We can 'do' our nails with a pocket knife.
We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Yep! Being a man is so simple.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

If only.

Janie Junebug said...

Well, that's all nice, but I enjoy my 30 or so pairs of shoes. I like my bodacious ta-tas. I think I will remain femaleicious.


Ducky said...

One mood all the time isn't quite right but pretty much everything else is. :D

Old NFO said...

LOL, I wish... sigh

NavyOne said...

Hahaha! We can open all our own jars!