One Way I'll Never Make A Living

If you have a problem with heights, this will be hard to watch.  I don't and it was still hard to watch.



How much money does he make and how often does he have to climb those things? I'm an admitted pussy, folks. I could never do anything like this. Not jsut because of the surpurb shape you have to be in or the knowledge you have to have, but because I am guilty of always stepping back to admire my work.

Can you imagine how strong his legs are? You can see his arms are pretty taught. And what if he develops a case if diarrhea while he's up there? Nope! I'll just stick to my dream of being a quality control manager in a Las Vegas Whore House, thank you very much.
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After The Lovin

Bob’s at it again over at Nobodys Corner.  Check him out, why don’t cha?

The Italian says, "When I’ve a finished a making a love, I go down and gently tickle the back of her knees.  She a floats 6 inches above the bed in ecstasy."

The Frenchman replies, "That is nothing!  When I’ve finished making love to my Cheri, I kiss all the way down her body, and then I lick the soles of her feet with my tongue.  Oohlala, she floats 12 inches above the bed in pure ecstasy."

The redneck says, "That tain’t nut’in. When I’ve finished aporkin the ole lady, I git out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe my pecker on the curtains.  She hits the fuckin’ ceiling."
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Redneck Diaper

              (Redneck baby who’s mama forgot to get more diapers...)
Who said Rednecks weren't smart?  This is brilliant!

I Gotta Blogging Award

Wow!  I just received an award from my meme maniac, Stacy Lynn, over at A Life Lived Well….  She publishes a meme almost everyday but in a unique way.  She post pictures and videos to support each of her comments and there are some really good comments, too. And when it comes to post other than meme’s, she is an awesome writer. Give her a shout, want’cha!





The award is the Stylish Blogger Award.


WTF?

My site is about as stylish as a homeless wino in winter.  No class, no brilliant writing…just cut and past humor - mostly.

She has her reasons, I guess, but don't let that stop you from going to vist her.

But I thank her for seeing something else here, too.  I just seriously think she needs to have her glasses Rx rechecked.

There are also some rules that go with this award, but I’m am not a rule follower.  I do not pick out one of my peeps over the other because you are all class acts.  So I am offering this one to all of you.  Take it and do what ever you wish, ‘cause I loves all of ya.

Your welcome!
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The Times Have Changed And So Have I - I think!

I was reading one of my new favorite peeps yesterday and she was talking bout (or comparing) her blogger peeps to the types we knew in high school. You know, the cliques, to jocks, the nerds…none of which I belonged.




So here are a couple of pictures from my high school senior annual.  Totally slamming the crew-cut (or ‘flat-top’ as it was called back then) and sans the bags of life under my eyes.


See what I mean?

And I was 6’4” and weighed 170 lbs.  I was so skinny I had to jump around in the shower to get wet…had to stick my tongue out to make a shadow…could swallow a grain of rice and look like I had a beer-belly…get the picture.



To prove it, here is my football picture from the annual.  Back in ‘62 we had to wear knee pads that were wider than my knees.  And the open mouth…a closely guarded secret I discovered.  Opening the mouth like that causes the intake of wind to draw the football into your hands.  But you had better catch it or you will have a mouth full of football and a few less teeth.

Anyskinny, I was thinking how it was for me back in the day.  It sucked.  I was a dork, a goofball (I bet that comes as a surprise to most of you) and never had any close friends.  I had a few in elementary school, but in high school everybody made new friends and drifted in different directions.  So because of the loneliness and the feeling of not being good enough, I didn’t like school or the people associated with it.

I was never a punk or trouble maker (other than talking in class and making people laugh), but I just couldn’t fit in.  I had horrible grades and was told so many times how smart I was but was just lazy.  Any of you moms out there ever say that or hear it about your precious?  Boy my mom sure laid it on.  Now I know that I had ADHD, but it wasn’t heard of back then.

So after high school I went my own way and never heard from any of the fuckers again and they never tried to get in touch with me.  When I would come home on leave from the Navy, I would drop by the school to see some of the teachers and classmates who were still there.  It was just the same.  Ignored and left out.  No one overly glad to see me.

Therefore I went the next 45 years not knowing about any of them.  What they were doing (except of a couple who were killed in Nam), how successful any of them became.  Which ones went to prison (not an uncommon thing in my school.)  Who passed away.  Nothing.

Until Face Book.  Now I am in touch with most of my graduating class plus several who graduated before and after me.

And boy how they change in the 49 years since leaving school.  They are friendly.  The jocks and the nerds have breakfast once a month (I haven’t made one of those yet but I plan on do so).  The girls who wanted to scratch the eyeballs out of each other are sharing cokes and showing pictures of their grandkids.



In Atlanta there is a hotdog/hamburger place that is pretty well known.  The Varsity is across I75-85 from Georgia Tech and back in the day was the meeting place for all the high schools around Atlanta.  On Friday and Saturday nights there was a never ending string of some of the best looking and sounding cars driving through the place.  Carhops had to dodge between the stream to deliver the orders.

Now some of the old classmates meet there every couple of months and just have a good time.  Once I kind of moved off to the side and watched them, remembering how they were and the activities of school - what was so important and drastic, shit like that.  It was kind of sad that we aren’t that young anymore, yet I am proud of who and what they have all become.  I’m still an outsider in a way, but I must say I am really enjoying their company now.

How ‘bout that!
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The Stuff Of Romance Novels

He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow and guided me into a room, his room.  Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.

He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice, close to my ear.  "Just relax. . . "  Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing and moving upward along my calves, slowly, but steadily.

My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didn't care.  His touch was so experienced, so sure.  When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and I partly closed my eyes.  My pulse was pounding.

I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage.  And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.  Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.

Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant.  This is a man, I thought.  A man used to taking charge.  A man not used to taking "no" for an answer.  A man who would tell me what he wanted.  A man who would look into my soul and say . . .

"Okay, ma'am," said a voice.  "All done."

My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding out my purse.

"You can board your flight now."
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I Am Longing For Spring

(Not My Dog - From Google For Effect)

Those of you who have been reading me from the start (‘06), though I don‘t think I have anyone still dropping by from that time, you know that when I take my dogs out for their evening constitutional, I also take a pee with them.

It’s a bonding thing between us and has nothing to do with my enlarged prostate and peeing every time I stand up. No Sir! Pee Together; Stay Together! That’s my motto. Know what I mean?

Anypee, I sometimes just pee off the deck but mostly I am right out in the yard with them.

I do draw the line on pooping in the yard, though. I’m old and I just can’t get my legs to go straight up in the air and I can’t lean forward enough to grab the grass to pull my ass along to wipe it anymore. So I just pee.

And that is a good thing, now, too. With all this snow and ice, I think it would be very painful. And who wants frostbite on their butt?

The good thing is seeing my name written in yellow all over the backyard. White and yellow. Kinda like Ga Tech colors. GO DAWGS!

Just thought you would like to know why I'm longing for Spring.

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Going To Sea Again...Not Sure...Maybe

                      (USS Kidd (DDG 100)

Look what I may be doing in February. I got a call yesterday from my Navy association buddy on the left coast wanting to know if I wanted to go to sea again - on a US Navy Destroyer. Will a dog sniff an ass? Hell yes I want to go.

Back in September we had my ship’s reunion in San Diego and one of the activities was a tour of the USS Kidd (DDG 100).  The Captain of the USS Kidd’s daughter goes to school with one of our members granddaughter (or something like that) and was very gracious in letting us tour his ship.  The crew were the best. I haven’t been called ‘Sir’ so much in many years.

Cmdr. Paul Bieraugel  (the ships Captain) is having a day cruse for selected guest, and a few of us from our association were invited.

I must say I was excited as a teenager in a whorehouse with his dad’s credit card…until I got to thinking about the credit card.  Flying across the country, rent a car, stay in a motel, food and drinks…maybe I had better pass it up.

Judy is excited for me and wants me to go, but I have a hard time spending that kind of money on just me.  I mean, I know I am totally worth that and much more (in my own mind), but there are things we can do with that money, too.

I have a few days to think about it.  Maybe I will go…don’t know.

Is it too selfish to want to do something like that without Judy or the grandkids going with me?  It’s so hard to keep my narcissism in check.

Go Navy!

Why Mom's Can't Do Yoga At Home

I don't blame him...I'd do that, too.

Thanks For The E-mail - Damn You!

As we progress into the year 2011, I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year.  I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public restroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft
and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy cookies from Girl Scouts since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a coin dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.

I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician.

Oh, by the way...

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.

But YOU have a great year…damn you.
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Don't Ask, Shouldn't Tell

(Picture Stolen From Dan Sharon on FB)

Senior Texting Code

Since more and more of us Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).

If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.

ATD: At The Doctor's

BFF: Best Friend Farted

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM: Covered By Medicare

CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center

DWI: Driving While Incontinent

FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

FYI: Found Your Insulin

GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA: Got Heartburn Again

GLKI: Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In

HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL: Living On Lipitor

LWO: Lawrence Welk's On

OMMR: On My Massage Recliner

OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

ROFL...CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up

SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL: Talk To You Louder

WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again

WTP: Where's The Prunes?

WWNO : Walker Wheels Need Oil

Feel free to add any codes you feel are missing; send the additions back to the person who sent you this so they can update their list.
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My Thoughts Exactly

***Note***  I received a very nice e-mail today from Mrs Seabrook asking me to correct the name of her book.  It is FURRY LOGIC and not FURY LOGIC.  It was toally my fault that my fingers do what the want to do regardless of what my braing tells them to do.  I appologize, Mrs Seabrook.

(My pal, Timothy, sent this to me and it is just too good and needs to be shared.)

JANE SEABROOK is an illustrator and designer who lives in Auckland, New Zealand. In recent years, her artwork has focused on paintings of wildlife for the Furry Logic series of books. She shares her life with her husband, two teenage children, and a growing menagerie of assorted animals.

The following are some excerpts from her Furry Logic books.



 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

An Air Line Ticket Agent IN Washington DC Narrates

Peeps, I don’t know if any of this is really true, but if you have ever worked in an industry where you have to take calls from government types, then you know how this is easily accepted as true.

***

It seems that all people have to suffer fools. Especially those of legislators who lay claims to education and wisdom to represent their states. But they are no different from our illiterate and stupid legislators who have fake degrees and should be forgiven if they are foolish.  This is almost too good to be true; then again one never knows.

An DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our country is in trouble:

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa. ''

His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. Is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED - AND WE CONTINUE TO ELECT THEM.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.  Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
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The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.

A cell phone on a bench rings and the man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me.  Are you at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It's only $1,000.  Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2010 Models.  I saw one I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$90,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great!  Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They're asking $950,000.'

MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000.  They will probably take it.  If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand if it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN: 'OK.  I'll see you later!  I love you so much!'

MAN: 'Bye!  I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
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Hell Yes I Am A Senior Citizen

We Senior Citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary.  But let it be known here and now, we know and take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.


HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The earning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.

Does anyone under the age of 50 know the lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner?

What about the last verse of My Country 'tis of Thee?

"Our father's God to thee,
Author of liberty,
To Thee we sing.
Long may our land be bright,
With freedom's Holy light.
Protect us by Thy might,
Great God our King."

Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts during the National Anthem or when the Flag comes by in a parade!


HELL YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party....even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps....with a hammer.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

I'm a walking storeroom of facts...I've just lost the key to the storeroom door.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too!

Spread the laughter…
Share the cheer…
Let's be happy…
While we're here.
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Jabba Hutt Has Gone Home and A RePost From The Past

My MIL, Dot (Granny Dot - better know around here as Jabba Hutt because she is 5 feet tall and close to 300 lbs) is on a plain heading for home.  Thank God and Continental she’s gone.


I do like (though love would not be a good word to use) her and in many ways enjoy her visits - though three weeks is a bit much.

Every time she comes down she has something new to add to her arsenal of strange and weirdness.  Like, she takes pills to help her with drearier, along with stool softeners.  This time she ask Judy if we have any honey.  We looked in the pantry and found a jar.  The next morning she ask Judy didn’t her lips look soft and most.  She rubs honey on them. (Think 300 lbs)  This might be an old remidy for chaplips that has been around, but I have never heard of it. It is so hard not to laugh at 90% of what she says.

Anyway, I was looking for a picture of Dot when I ran across this post from 2008 and got a chuckle out of it.  So I though I would re-post it.  He’s 15 now and lives on the phone with his girlfriends.

Maybe you will get a smile, too.
 


My grandson, J-Man (now Mater), is growing up; but not just growing, he's taking after his Paw Paw (me).  We were heading to the North Georgia Fair last Friday and he ask me, “Paw Paw (that’s me, ya know) you know what’s 40 feet long and smells like pee?”

“A safety rope in a water treatment plant.” I answer.

“Huh?”

“Never mind! What’s 40 feet long and smells like pee?”

“A line-dance in the old folks home.”

It’s really hard to drive and keep the car on the road with tears in your eyes from laughing so hard.  I’m so proud of him.

I have to say, though, that knowing me, his mom and his dad, he didn’t stand a chance of ever being serious.  It’s in his jeans. 

And I think the horns on his head are very appropriate, too.
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The Wayfaring Warrior

***Wahoo, horns blaring, crowds yelling and clapping...I got the link to work. How the inquisitive mind might like to know? I retyped the damn thing.***

Peeps, in my wanderings across the bloggersphere I run into some amazing writers; some very funny and/or sarcastic, some military post and some with serious or reflective musings. Some I choose to follow and others I will check in on every now and then.

In my wanderings I have found one that I started following daily, a lovely young lady who is a Civilian Soldier. She is an officer (though I don’t hold that against her since someone has to be one) in the National Guard and was formerly active duty. She use to call herself the Wayfaring Stranger, and now she calls her blog the Wayfaringwarrior because she fights with everyone. No! Just kidding! She named herself the Wayfaring Warrior because her writing is geared toward the military side of life.

She is an excellent writer and is working on publishing a book on the military and spouses (both she and her husband are military) and other stuff. Go on over and read her, she is great. If I got any of the details wrong…just consider it me and go read the real stuff over there.

I stole this from her sit, too, because that is how I roll. But it is funny and even the most serious of subjects can have a lighter side.



Check her out, yo!
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A Little New Year's Day Humor - Very Little

A New Year Prayer For the Elderly:

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
Amen
New Year’s Diet


New Year's Day Prayer for One and All:
Dear Lord

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that.

But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

New Year Jokes - One Liners:
~ To kick start my New Year, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
~ The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
~ When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year.  I gave up thinking.
~ Definition of a hangover: Wrath of Grapes.

Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover:
1.You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
2. Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
3. Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
4. The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
5. You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
6. You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
7. You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
8. Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
9. You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
10. Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"

One Year In 40 Seconds