Jabba Hutt Has Gone Home and A RePost From The Past

My MIL, Dot (Granny Dot - better know around here as Jabba Hutt because she is 5 feet tall and close to 300 lbs) is on a plain heading for home.  Thank God and Continental she’s gone.


I do like (though love would not be a good word to use) her and in many ways enjoy her visits - though three weeks is a bit much.

Every time she comes down she has something new to add to her arsenal of strange and weirdness.  Like, she takes pills to help her with drearier, along with stool softeners.  This time she ask Judy if we have any honey.  We looked in the pantry and found a jar.  The next morning she ask Judy didn’t her lips look soft and most.  She rubs honey on them. (Think 300 lbs)  This might be an old remidy for chaplips that has been around, but I have never heard of it. It is so hard not to laugh at 90% of what she says.

Anyway, I was looking for a picture of Dot when I ran across this post from 2008 and got a chuckle out of it.  So I though I would re-post it.  He’s 15 now and lives on the phone with his girlfriends.

Maybe you will get a smile, too.
 


My grandson, J-Man (now Mater), is growing up; but not just growing, he's taking after his Paw Paw (me).  We were heading to the North Georgia Fair last Friday and he ask me, “Paw Paw (that’s me, ya know) you know what’s 40 feet long and smells like pee?”

“A safety rope in a water treatment plant.” I answer.

“Huh?”

“Never mind! What’s 40 feet long and smells like pee?”

“A line-dance in the old folks home.”

It’s really hard to drive and keep the car on the road with tears in your eyes from laughing so hard.  I’m so proud of him.

I have to say, though, that knowing me, his mom and his dad, he didn’t stand a chance of ever being serious.  It’s in his jeans. 

And I think the horns on his head are very appropriate, too.
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A Memory Of A Stay At Stone Mountain

Yesterday J-Man, Bug and I spent the day at Stone Mountain Park.


We went there about a month ago and it was freezing.


Yesterday it was in the 80’s and beautiful except for a slight haze on the horizon. A stranger took this picture of the three of us on top of the big rock.

How big, you ask. Only one percent is showing above ground. It goes 10 miles straight down and has outshoot’s of garnet as far out as 50 miles. The mountain is five miles around the base with a train ride enjoy the whole thing.


The building behind Bug and J-Man is the Stone Mountain Inn. This is were I spent my honeymoon. We had the run of the park and the motel had an indoor and an outdoor pool.

On our 10th anniversary we went back to the motel. It was a surprise and she really like the idea. I’m such a romantic.

I was even able to get the same room we had on our honeymoon. Except this time the quarter meter for the bed vibrator was gone. I had to pull the bed away from the wall and unplug the damn thing the first night we were there.

Anyvibes, the night was pretty much set. She even kept the nightgown from the honeymoon and had it on when she came out of the bathroom. It still fit her and she was just as beautiful.

She slowly crossed the room and kissed me gently and asked, “Are we going to do the same things we did on our night 10 years ago?”

I said, “No! It’s my time to sit on the edge of the bed and cry, ‘It’s Too Big, too big.’”

Of course we are divorced, now.
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My Grandkids

***Update*** J-Man is home and very sore, but in great spirits - as I knew he would be. He woke up with a joke to the nurse who was checking his bandages. He only slightly grimaces when he has to move his legs, but he sucks it up. He is truly an inspiration to me.

Thank you all for your comments and prayers. He deserves them.

 

My hero, J-Man.

 

My little horse lady, Bug.

Let me explain.

It’s been a year now and my grandson will have his surgery today to remove the screws and plates in his legs. This time it is much simpler than the last time.

J-Man was ‘pidgin-toed’ and it bothered him very much. My ex’s husband is a Shiner and sponsored him as a candidate to the Shiners’ Scottish Rite Hospital for Children in Greenville, NC. He was accepted and had surgery on both legs. They opened his thighs from just below the hip to just above his knees, cut his thigh bones in half, turned his lower legs untill the feet were straight, and then put plates and screws in to hold them in place.

It was very painful for the little dude, but he sucked it up and was a true trooper. As were most of the kids there. If you want true inspiration and witness true courage, go to the Children’s Hospital. But the medical angles there were in love with him. He kept his humor and was an inspiration to me.

He could not put any weight on his legs for six weeks, which means he lived in a wheel chair and have someone pick him up to go to bed or ride in the car the whole time. But now is the time to take the hardware out. However, the biggest news came from his workup. He is now 5’5” tall and, wait for it, he weighs 103lbs. He finally broke the triple digit weight number. He is like his Paw Paw. I looked like I had just come out of Dachau when I was his age.

I think we are going to drive up there (MeMaw, me and Bug) tonight so we can see him before he goes in for the procedure in the morning.

And Bug is another story. My very talented artist and creative writer, Me Maw, gave Bug a book THAT she is putting together. Bug is a horse girl. She loves horses. So Judy is writing a book for her about a little girl (whose name is Bug’s name spelled backward) and a magic horse that lives in a cave. She gave Bug the first chapter, complete with pictures on every page that actually followed the plot, for her eleventh birthday, and will add a chapter on every special occasion.

So Bug got on the computer last night and started her own book. She would find a picture of a horse and write a little history or fact about the horse breed. She is writing it for her MeMaw and titled her book, “Judy’s Horse Information Book”

The first page was a picture of an Appaloosa and she wrote, “The Appaloosa’s history all started with the American Indians. All the appaloosas were used for battle with other tribes. The only horse to race in the breed of appaloosa was a horse named Pamaloosa.” There were pages of entries like the Lipizzaner Stallions, Mustangs, and others. But the one that really got a smile out of me (actually I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom so I could laugh without her being offended) was her entry about the Clydesdales. “Clydesdales are draft horses. They are very, very strong. If they can carry a wagon they can carry anything. Plus they are very beautiful horses. If they were men all of them would be taken already. This is how beautiful and strong they are.”

God I love those kids.

I Get No Respect

I just returned from driving Sweet Tea and Dot down to Macon (about a hundred miles south of Atlanta) to meet Dr. Amber for their trip to Tampa to meet the ship for their cruse. The grand kids went with us and rode back with me in Dr. Ambers car. They are funny and I love those two little snots so much, but I get no respect.

We were looking for an exit with gas and food to meet Dr. Amber. We were discussing what kind of breakfast we wanted – Cracker Barrel, fast food, some out-of-the way restaurant, or just crackers and cokes at the gas station. J-Man said, “Let’s do this with some logic. Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe.”

Then on the way back, we stopped off at Wal Mart to get some printer cartridges. As we were checking out, Bug showed me some artsy, fartsy wooden heads of horses, cows, pigs, a nurse, etc. She said they were to hold your glasses. When you put your glasses in the slot, it made it look like the statue was wearing glasses. Strange but cute!

On the way home she ask if I liked them. I said they were okay, and J-Man asked where my glasses were. I told him they were in my pocked because I only needed them to read. Bug ask why I didn’t ware them all the time and I told her, “Because I don’t have to. Besides, you wouldn’t want me to put something on to mar the beauty of this gorgeous face would you? She said, looking up at me with a squint and as serious as a little shit can said, “Yeah! A sack!” After I got through laughing, I beat her. Ingrate! I get no respect.