I Gotta Clew and A Fry

I have some good new and some bad news. First the good stuff…

Many people, and even a few among you, think that I don’t have a clew. Well I got news for yah. I not only have a clew, but I got an award from her.

She gave me this award, not because I am one of the girls (though I do like being among the girls - especially when booze and nudity is involved) but because she is my friend.

I believe Clew is the one who has been with me the longest and though she post sporadically, she does pen a great blog. Smart lady this one. Go visit her and make her your best friend, too.

This next award is right up my alley. The Sex and Fun Award is from two NY ladies, Lizzie and Ellie, who write about adult stuff in a fun way.

You need to hop over to Sex N Fries and read there cool stuff and give your opinions on their surveys.

Guaranteed to wet your whistle, blow your skirt, cock your pistol and completed keep you informed and entertained. Go on. Get over there, now.

And Thank You, Ladies for these two awards.

Ohm Yeah! The Bad News…I don’t follow directions, I buck authority, and I don’t do what I’m told unless sex is involved.

With this disclaimer out of the way, let it be known that I rarely, if ever, forward awards. Mainly because I admire and enjoy ALL my peeps and I will not pick out one over the other. Don’t like it? Bit me!

So I’ll just award these to all of you who want them. Feel free, please. If you want the rules to post on your sites, go to Clew or SnF and see what you have to do.

Later!
.
.

I Got an AWARD - I'm Beautiful, too

Can you believe it? Me being given an award…not just an award, but a Beautiful Blogger Award.

I received this award from the beautiful (yet visually impared)Val who resides oveer at Golden To Silver. She is one of my favorite reads and is a very sweet lady. (She craves my body, too. Okay! I will honor the restraining order, Val.) So jump over and look over her site, tag her as a follower, and let me know when you do because she is paying me a commission for each new follower she gets vie me. (NO! Just kidding! She’s too good to have to pay anyone to visit her.)

However, the conditions of this award are that I have to name 7 things about myself. Then I have to pass it on to 7 of my peeps that I think are fantastic. Now for the seven people I have to give an award too. I refuse to ever single out any of my peeps because if you are on my sidebar, you are worth reading and you are a favorite of mine. So I am going to do what Val did…the first seven (if I get that many readers this time) people to comment may consider yourself tagged. But I would appreciate it if you let me know if and when you accept the award.

So here are the seven things you should know about me.

1. I raced stock cars on the bull rings dirt track around North Georgia back in the 70’s
2. I have never been pregnant.
3. I have never had sex with a man.
4. If the toilet seat is down, I’ll piss in the sink.
5. If I go outside at night, I’ll piss off the deck.
6. I hate slow, courteous drivers. Move or get out of the fucking way.
7. I don’t like that aggravating music on blogs, but it is your blog so I just mute my computer. Your welcome.

Now you first seven (and any others who want it because you are all beautiful) want this, copy and past it to your side bar or award file.

And thank you all for adding so much laughter, seriousness and information to my life.

You are all truly BEAUTIFUL!
.
.

I Got An Award

I am so fortunate to have a eclectic group of followers and readers. Almost all of you are super funny while some of your are super heroic and post about the state of the country and the decline of the American way of life under our Socialist Dictator.

But I have one lady who is just full of love and is a great artist and poet.

Mary Stebbins Taitt over at No Polar Coordinates has bestowed on me one of her paintings as an award for, as she put it, “For the good work you did assisting with dog rescues in 2009.”

Mary, darling, I do not do anything but drive a van. All the work is done, and all the platitudes should go to my step-daughter, Dr. Amber and her assistant, Susan. So I will take this award and post it on my side bar in Amber and Susan’s honor. And I send you hugs and kisses for being so sweet and thinking of me.

Thank you!

Christmas Sucked For Me

Well, all the Christmas stuff should be over by now. So I can tell you why I haven’t posted in a few days. I am sicker than John Kerry on election night.

I didn’t want to say anything for fear of ruining your Christmas. The though of you walking around in circles or from room to room wringing our hands and maybe a few tears running down your cheeks worrying about me and my health stopped me from posting. I’m giving and caring in that way. It’s all about you as far as I am concerned.

On Wednesday I started feeling bad, coughing and stuff. By Thursday morning my eyelids a very merry shad of red and matted shut, and I was coughing like I thought it was fun or something. The wife, at gun point, forced me to go to the urgent care center for my miracle cure. I told her that it would have been better to call Ernest Angley and have him send me a miracle cure prayer cloth, but she cocked the hammer.

I have an upper respiratory and sinus infection that was moving into my eyes. Thus the puss and drainage and stuff. I still participated in the family gathering, but went back to bed as soon as all the loot was passed out. It was fun and I loved having the family around, but I left Judy and the kids and kids in law playing board games on the kitchen table and went to bed.

Still feel like shit, but I am on the North Side Of The Dirt and that is a good thing.

Regardless of my problems, trials and tribulations, I hope you peeps had a great and happy Christmas and Hanukah. I don’t send Kwanza wishes because that is just a made up holiday that means nothing so I ignore it. And I hope you atheist out there enjoyed your materialist holidays, too.

I have been given a couple of awards and I will post them as soon as I feel like sitting here long enough to do it. Thank you, too, for the honor.

Later, peeps!

Obama Wins 2010 Boston Marathon

BOSTON - President Barack Obama won the 2010 Boston Marathon on Friday in a stunning decision designed to encourage him to quit smoking and keep running to stay in shape. The Boston Athletic Association announced their decision to name Obama the winner even though the race will not be run until 18 April 2010 because the president has the desire to win and has good intentions.

In announcing Obama the winner the president of the BAA said, "We must rise above the out dated measurements of what a person actually has accomplished and focus instead on their intentions and what they say they will do. Intentions and talk are what drive the world." Congressman Barney Frank and Chinese Vice President XI Jinping seated nearby reiterated these words.

The BAA also noted that no president has won the marathon before. This would set a good example for all future presidents of the United States and for other countries such as Iran and North Korea that intentions really matter.

Many observers were shocked by the unexpected decision before the race has even been run. However, when told of his win the President said he had really been thinking a lot about keeping in shape, talked with staff about cutting back on his smoking, and even read an article about the Boston Marathon.

Obama added that wining the Boston Marathon was better than any other awards he has received including his Nobel Prize, a Tony for best performance by leading actor, an Emmy for outstanding lead actor in drama series, a Golden Globe for best performance of an actor in a comedy, NASCAR Champion, World Series Most Valuable Player, Best TwitterPage, and Teleprompters of America Best Reader.