ITALIAN CONFESSION

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father.  She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.  However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father.  That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

 "And what is that?" asked the priest.

 "Should I tell her the war is over?'' 
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The Confessional

 
One Sunday I go into a confessional box and say to the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”

The Priest says, “Is that you, John?”

“Yes, Father, it’s me.”

“Who was the woman you were with, my son?”

“I cannot tell you, Father, because I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

The Priest says, “Umm, was it Brenda O’Malley?”

“No, Father.”

“Was it Fiona MacDonald?”

“No!”

“Was it Ann Brown?”

“No!”

“Was it Mary Elizabeth O’Shea?”

“No, Father, it wasn’t.”

“Was it Cathy Morgan?”

NO, Father! I cannot tell you.”

The Priest finally says, “Well, Johnny me boy, I admire your perseverance, but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be four Our Fathers and five Hail Mary’s. Now go back to your seat.”

When I got back to my pew my buddy, Chuck, slides over and whispers, “What happened?”

“Well, I got four Our Fathers and five Hail Mary’s and six good leads.”

High Five Slaps!!