Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts

Sunday, May 09, 2010

A Love Story


Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.

Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.

On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"

Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last five years I've been a hooker."

Ed‘s smile faded and he said, "I see!"

He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in serious thought.

Finally he looked at her and said, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

Friday, October 23, 2009

Testicle Therapy


I don’t play golf at all. But I will occasionally go out with some other men in the ‘hood just to get out of the house.

On day I was with them and I noticed two women coming up behind us. One teed off and I watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward our foursome. Then, as I watched but was unable to move from shock, the ball hit ME. I immediately clasped my hands together at the groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.

The woman rushed down to me, and immediately began to apologize.

'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me,’ she told him.

'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' I replied, though I was in horrible agony. By then I was lying in the fetal position, still clasping my hands there at the groin.

At her persistence, however, I finally allowed her to help. She gently took my hands away and laid them to the side, loosened my pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and then asked, 'How does that feel'?

‘Feels great,’ I replied, ‘and don’t stop, but I still think my thumb's broken!’

(Thanks, Biddie, for the joke)