Kids At The Track

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and its supporting industry (bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the restrooms, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the high urinals.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, 'You must be in the 5th grade.'

'No, ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race, but I appreciate your help.'
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Leave It To Dad

If Dads Were Left To Raise The Kids By Themselves...

Boys would read more!


Kids would get more rest.


Work would get done more efficiently.


Potty training? Who needs it?


Kids would be more able to express their emotions!


Bath time would be more fun!


But never let dad go to a T-Shirt making store.

Skating Through Life

Anyone remember these? Steel wheeled one-size-fits-all roller skates that required a skate key to make them fit.

First of all you have to turn the skates over and loosen the nut in the middle with one end of the skate key. Then you have to adjust the length by sliding the front half back and forth. Once the skate fits your shoe, the nut had to be tighten again.

Then you put your foot (preferably with shoes on - more about that later)in the skate and put the ankle strap on snugly. Then you take the skate key to the side of the skate, up near the front, and tighten the clamps to the soles of the shoe. Then repeat the procedure with the other foot.

Now you are ready to skate on any sidewalk or street that is paved or concrete. They don’t work too well on dirt roads, though some of those hard, red clay roads in the summertime could be skated on, but the rocks makes it a little dicey.

There were three things that were staples for boys at Christmas, a cap gun set of your favorite cowboy, a bicycle and a pair of roller skates. Girls got the bikes with the lowered down cross bars so we couldn’t see their panties when they go off the bikes, their favorite doll, a kitchen set and roller skates. On Christmas morning, if the temperature was above 20 degrees, there were kids skating on the roads like ants on sugar cubes.

The problem was, the clips on the toes of your shoes would rip the soul from the shoes if you hit a bump or sidewalk or someone’s head or stuff, and that would make our moms as happy as a lobster in boiling water - only hotter. My mom would raise holy hell because the shoes were only a month old. Didn’t matter that I was growing out of them anyway. So she did what any frugal mom would do, she got an older pair of shoes and cut the toes out of them. Since the older shoes were smaller, the skate had to be adjusted to fit the smaller size. So I had to skate with my toes hanging over the edge of the skates.

That was difficult to do so I would take the shoes off and tap my bare feet to the skates. I would cut out a piece of cardboard and put it between my feet and the skate and off I would go. Of course the souls of my feet were hard enough to scratch a match on. My dad did it several times to show his friends.

Why were they so hard? From the time school was out for the summer, the only time I wore shoes was to go to church or go down town with mom to pay bills - or to skate. Also, I was raised on a major thoroughfare two lane road. I skated and rode my bike on that road with cars and trucks going by two feet away. And there was no such thing as a helmet. And we never lost a kid in my school to head injuries. But the most fun things was to grab a bumper and ride the bike or skates like the wind. Skates only on the slower cars when the traffic was heave.

So, do you let your kids do things like that?

My 65th Birthday Present - Blue Grass

**UPDATE**
I forgot to tell you about the card my wife gave me. It said:
"Through the years we've shared so mcuh together.
Tears, and even drama.
An althought we've been through so many changes,
you still manage to turn me on."

OPEN THE CARD

"Happy Birthday From The TV."

So True!

***

Okay, as I said in the post before this, I found out how to post some of the pictures.

You can see the clouds in the mountains that are part of the Application chain - and the rain.

This is the court house on the square in Blairsville. You can see that it has been raining, and just before the deluge.

The lady mandolin player in the light blue sweater had a unique way of playing the instrimunt and all I could thing of was, 'Man, I bet she could give an awesome hand job.' But the whole group had some good tunes and songs.

This is Sunday morning. What a difference a day makes.

The grandkids decorated the car for my birthday.


The kids gave me my favorite car - a '57 Chevrolet hardtop.

I won't boar you with all the people and bands we heard, but I will show you the BEST damn even of the whole weekend.


This is a tent set up outside the Hole In The Wall Cafe and it is just for jamming. Anyone with an instrument could pull up a chair and start playing. There were 4 fiddles, 3 banjo's, 5 guitars, and a base. They all played in perfect harmony like they had been playing together for years. There ranged from a 90 somehting man on the banjo to a 14 year old on the fiddle.

Then I heard the sound of an instrument that I didnt' see. I looked around and there he was.

The man was playing the strange Dobro Guitar. Love that sound. And there is the little old lady sitting there playing the spoons.

I tell ya, folks. That was the best music I have ever heard. Just a bunch of good old boys picking and a grinning.

There are many more pictures of the festival, and the trip we made to Bardstown Bald, the highest point in Georgia at 4,874 feet. Now I know that is the equivalent of a morning tent-pole hard compared to other mountains, but it has some great views. You can see NC, SC, TN and on a real clear day, KY. You can’t see the little dotted lines that separates the states because the are in the valley. The temp never gets above the mid-eighties in the summer and can go down to 24 degrees below in the winter. I can show you those pictures sometime.

But for now, I had a great birthday even though I wasn’t in it emotionally. Except for the music. You can’t not tap you foot and feel the rhythm when the banjos are rolling and the guitars are a picking and the mandolins are a strumming. The only American made music we have. Got to love it.