On The Road Again - Maybe For The Last Time

It’s that time again, Peeps. I’m heading back to Menands, NY, with an animal transport of a couple of dozen puppies. But things are different this time.

There will be no nude blogging from the motel.

I know, ladies. I truly hate to disappoint, but this time I will be accompanied by the long suffering (and bestest honey) Judy. With her going with me, there will be no need to stop at the Nude Blogging Motel. Instead we will be driving nonstop.

And this will probably be my last transport, or at least the last one to Menands. Too many personal changes and not enough corporation to make it work, so Dr. Amber and her Able Bodied Helper, Susan, have decided not to send anymore. This is not written in stone, but seems to be for the near future. I may still have some short runs to take. We’ll see.

So… since there will be no nude blogging…I won’t be taking my laptop. That means I’ll be offline from around 5 pm today until Friday night or Saturday morning. Therefore, DO NOT post anything worth reading or commenting on until I get back. I don’t want to miss anything. Thanks for working with me. You're the best!

See, or as the case maybe, Read ya later.

And In The Meantime, Read My Last Post About The DNC Schedule. It's pretty good.

Nude Blogging and A House Warming Gift

Okay, Peeps. It’s Friday and I am on the road again, so you know that that means, don’t cha? Nope, not that. Not that either. Give up? Good! It’s Nude Blogging Time.

Now before all you ladies run out and get extra batteries for you most favorite lover, and you guys render me a hand salute with awe and envy, let me splane sommin.

I have some new readers who might fall into the above mention situations, but don’t. It’s not what it seems.  It is just an on going think I came up with a couple of years ago.  No HNT or anything like that.  Just me in the motel alone...with you.  But there is a reason for it, too.

See…when I am unloading the dogs and puppies (puppies especially) they will sometimes be afraid or nervous and will pee on me, or they will poop and some will get on my hands when I take the form the cages. So I will wipe my hands on my jeans.  Yeah! Gross huh?  But don't be cruel...you've done the same thing changing diapers...or getting your spouse undressed after a good drunk.  Have, too!

So when I get to the motel, I will take a shower for obvious reasons. And since I am alone, and since I enjoy sleeping in the nude, I don’t see the sense in putting on clean skivvies until I get dressed in the morning.

So I’m here blogging and emailing in the nude. And a laptop does get warm sitting on your lap…just saying.

Anynaked, I want to let you know about a friend of mine who uprooted herself, husband and dog and move from their family home in the frozen tundra of Indiana to a palatial estate in Florida.

Many of you have been following Dana and her experiences (pulse the inserts of her book) for a long time, now and you know what a sweet little old lady she can be…when she isn’t cussing and bitching. So for a house warming present I wanted to get her sommen that fits her personality. So I have been looking at doormats (in honor of her life as a woman.) What’d think?










Wonder which one she will choose.

Now that I got that out of the way, I'm gonna start reading my peeps postings until I fall asleep.  See ya tomorrow. TATA
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Nude Blogging Time 0r Naked As Britney Speers On A Date

The weather outside is frightful, but my room is so delightful.

And since I've no place to go, lets get naked and let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

When I left Woodstock to go load up the dogs in Washington, GA, the weather was cold, but no wind. About 5:00 p.m. I left for my transport in clear weather. But Judy called and said it was starting to sleet and freeze…just 50 miles West of me - as the crow flies. It took her three hours to make the normal 45 minute drive home.

I had clear skies and no traffic all the way up, and didn’t run into any snow until I was about 100 miles South of Albany, NY.  On the way back I was in snow from NJ to VA. Lovely! PA was really messy. Here in VA my van’s rear-end was moving back and forth like Tyra Banks on the Runway. Kinda fun, but a little stressful at the same time.

But my room is warm, the shower was hot, and the bed feels great. Not gonna last long. Over 30 hours straight with only one 20 minute nap makes for a tired old man, too.

So I’ll catch ya later, Peeps.

Nude Blogging and TMI On I-20

"HEY KIDS…WHAT TIME IS IT???"

"IT’S NUDE BLOGGING TIME, BEAVER JOHN!!!!!!"

Yep! That's right, kids.  Here I am in my usual motel in Winchester, VA, tired as hell, fresh out of the hot shower, some food in my tummy and trying to send you a post.  But damn it is cold in this motel room. Too cold for nude blogging. I look like a flat chested girl. Let me get the heater on…

There, now! That’s better. Now I look like a flat chested man again. TMI???

Speaking of TMI, awhile back I had a request come pouring in wanting me to do another TMI post. Peeps, the TMI post were not my idea, but one from another blogger who wanted our post to be linked to hers. Several did, but I guess she got tired of it and stopped posting them. Anyway, I thought I would give it a try.

Back in the day before I graduated from college and became officially smart, and way before I received my MBA, making me officially smarterest, I made my living as a route salesman for the Atlanta Coca Cola Bottling Co. and a beer company selling Miller brand draft beer.  One of the perks of these types of jobs is watching the cars go past you on the highway. Anyone who has driven a truck, from a pick up to an 18 wheeler (and I have driven all of them) can vouch for this.  Back in the day, a girls legs were know a ‘seat covers.’  Short dresses, shorts, long dresses pulled up to show leg... Loved it!


 
Anyway, I've most often seen is women giving their men blow jobs while he is driving on down the road.  Sometimes, he would slow down and let you watch her head going up and down like an NBA basketball.

I’ve even seen a woman giving her man and herself a hand job.  She was looking up at me and smiling.  I smile back and yelled, “Go, Go, Go…SSCCCOOORRRREEEDDD.”  Once a car came by and she was giving him head while a couple was screwing in the back seat - in a convertible.  And I have seen women with their blouses open playing with their tits almost as much as seeing the blow jobs.

Atlanta can be a fun place to work.

Anyperv, one day I was heading out I-20 in my Coke truck, with my helper, Clarence, riding with me. Clarence was a young kid who worked with me for over five years.  I call him a kid though he was only two years younger than me.  But I had just been discharged from the Navy and thought I was older than I really was.  He wasn’t totally all there, either. (example: my older brother was a vice-president of the bottling company and Clarence wanted to know how much he made.  I told him I didn’t know, but I would guess it was around $40,000 a year - a huge amount back in the 60’s - and he shook his head and said, “Uh uh! I couldn’t stand getting paid once a year.) What? Oh! Back to the TMI story.

This Cadillac come easing up next to me and stayed there. I looked down and there was this chubby man masturbating.  I didn’t want to see this so I sped up.  He did, too.  I slower down.  He did, too.  I couldn’t change lanes because back then I-20 was two lanes with a grassy medium.  So I just waited.

Clarence ask me what I was doing and I told him to look over here.  He leaned across the seat and said, “SSHHHIIIITTTT!  You like watching tha mo foker?”

I told him, “No! But this is going to be one pud-pounding he will never forget - if he lives through it.”

I waited until he was giving that throbbing thrill hammer the short and fast strokes and I jerked my steering wheel hard to the left and he went spinning into the grassy medium.  I could see him in my side mirrors going round and round about three times (we were doing 70 mph at the time) before he came (no pun intended) to a stop. I guess it’s hard (again, no pun intended) to hold on to the steering wheel when your hand is wet and you are shooting all over the place.

Best Big O he ever had…I hope he broke the damn thing during the excitement. Clarence was bouncing up and down on the seat and laughing and yelling and just being Clarence. He said, “Man, you don’t fuck with Mr. Coffey”

I said, “Well, men don’t, that’s for sure.”

Enough TMI?  Okay! Going to sleep now. See y’all later.

Nude Blogging and America Is Rulled By Nero Obama

Hey, peeps! It’s nude blogging time again. I’m here in the Travelodge in Winchester and THE SUN IS SHINING. No so when I was unloading the dogs (not an easy task when it’s raining dogs and cats, I tell ya.) All I had this time were 15 puppies of mixed breed.

But this time was unusual. The first pup I tried to take from the cage was scared to death, or hated the rain, or didn’t like my red shirt (Red Shirt On Fridays To Show Support For The Troops.)or didn't like men. He would snap and yelp like someone was stomping his tail and would not come out. I thought he might not like men, so the lady who runs the shelter tried with the same results. So we took the cage to his new pin and dumped him out. He immediately began running around like nothing was wrong.

But his little show upset the other puppies in the front of the van and they all yelled (not barked, but yelped) loud and strong while squirming and trying to get down. The first 8 pups were difficult to handle, to say the least. And one little Shar Pei mixed bit my thumb. Yep! The same thumb that fucking cat latched on to in LA. I’m getting tired of loosing my precious bodily fluids just to give the animals a better home. (Or the main course in a meal.)

But all of them were happy once they were in their new kennels and had access to each other. Me, I bled.

Also, my friend, Nancy, sent this to me and I had to let you see it. Most of you have probably seen it before, but it is worth seeing again.

WHILE AMERICA WAS BURNING

(Click on the picture twice to see it bigger sized)

Party guests from left to right: Tim Geithner, John Kerry, KSM, Oprah, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Axelrod, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Party Crashers #1, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Holder, Party Crashers #2, Harry Reid, John Edwards, Bluto, Andy Stern, Bill Clinton, Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann, Barney Frank, Kevin Jennings Statues left to right: Che Guevara, Saul Alinsky, Obama, Chairman Mao, Lenin

In November you can change the course of this socialist administration by voting - or you can sit on the couch and complain. Your choice. Remember these words of wisdom, you can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out. Remember to take out the trash on Nov 2nd, 2010.

Later!
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Nude Blogging and Your Fly Is Open

Okay, here I am in the usual Winchester, VA, motel nude blogging again. I didn’t have the time to tell you peeps that I was going on another dog run. I’ve only been home one full day and that was filled with greeting my mother-in-law and sister and brother-in-law. Judy’s sister. They will be here a week.

So this is the first time I’ve had to let you know (and I just know you have been walking up and down the floor, wringing your hands and being all antsy and worried and stuff) why I haven’t been around much the last few days.

So, to easy your feelings somewhat, I’ll give you 20 different ways to tell someone their fly is open.

I know! I’ve wondered about this, too. Daily! You just never know when it will happen and you never know just what to say. So these suggestions will help you out. They did me.

(And ladies, just standing there licking your lips and flexing your hands is not the apporpriate way to do it. Just saying…)

Your Fly Is Open!

20. The cucumber has left the salad.

19. I can see the gun of Navarone.

18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.

17. You've got Windows in your laptop.

16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.

15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.

8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!

7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

6. Dr. Kimble has escaped!

5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."

4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it?

AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO TELL SOMEONE THEIR FLY IS UNZIPPED...

1. I thought you were crazy; now I see your nuts
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Nude Blogging From The Motel Friday

Well it’s nude blogging time again, peeps. Not much to report except that I am very tired tonight. More tired than usual. That’s because of some good things and some bad things.

The good thing is, there was no traffic, wrecks, or road construction going on for some reason, so I was running 65 to 75 all the way up there and back.

The bad thing is, there was no traffic, wrecks, or road construction going on for some reason so I was running 65 to 75 all the way up there and back.

That means the driving was boring because there is nothing of interest going on. That makes the fatigue factor more prominent. Just setting there driving and listening to audio books is like being in a trance. For me, that means I start to nod off. So I have to pull into a rest area and take a cat nap.

When there is a lot of traffic or congestion, you have to be more aware because of the starting and stopping and the fucking idiots who jump from lane to lane because they cannot stand to see someone pass them.

Anytransporting, that’s about all I have for tonight…except for this exercise tip:

This Cock Is Too Worn Out For Nude Blogging

(This is how I feel tonight.)

I normally go to bed between 2 and 4 A.M. and rise about 9 A.M. each day except the days I go on the dog run. Those Wednesday nights I try to get in bed by Midnight and get up around 10 A.M. on Thursdays. Not this time. I haven’t talked about it, but my sister is in the hospital and is not expected to come home. I have mentioned before that she is more like my mother than my mother was. Decisions will have to be made on Monday. And she will be missed. But life goes on, too.

So I was up catching up on stuff, since I have been spending much time at the hospital, and didn’t get to bed until 3 A.M. and was up at 7 A.M. this morning. It is 8 P.M. now and except for one 15 min and one 30 nap, I have been driving and unloading dogs for 37 hours and I am dragging - yet keyed up. I will spend a couple of hours reading blogs until I all asleep.

So I guess that means the hens in the henhouse are safe tonight.

And speaking of safe hens…

Happy In The Bedroom? A husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."

He was right!

When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknob...he couldn't get back in!

Later, Peeps!
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HEY BLOGGER KIDS, WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT’S NUDE BLOGGING TIME, UNCLE POT!
(Yeah, clap, clap. Whistle, clap, Yeah, Yahoo)



Alright peeps! Let’s settle down now…
(Yeah, clap, clap. Whistle, clap, Yeah, Yahoo)

Okay! Thank you, now lets get on with the post…
(Yeah, clap, clap. Whistle, clap, Yeah, Yahoo)

SHUTIT, DAMMIT!
(cricket - cricket)

Thank you! Now own with the show.

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their
soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few
shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to
walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice
asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...
only two left."

Seniors -- don't mess with them!
******
Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of town.

Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about eight or nine dollars a day.

Every day, Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house, and has lots of cash to spend..

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?"

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlos' sign reads;

I have no work, a wife and six kids to support.

"What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

"No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"

Carlos says, "Alright, so what does your sign say?"

Jose's sign reads:

I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico!
*****

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences.

The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days.

The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting.

The second, a retired fireman, related the tale of a huge fire at the university several years back. There were flames, fire trucks from several area fire departments, but the most exciting part were the naked coeds jumping from their dorm windows into his arms.

The others gents agreed that had to be a very exciting time.

The third guy, a retired undertaker, started, "One night I got a call to pick up a body that was under a sheet in a hotel room. When I got there, the guy had a huge erection. I knew there was no way I could get him through the lobby like that. So I found an old broom and whacked that erection just as hard as I could to make it go down." He paused.

The retired fireman asked, "So, how was that exciting?"

The undertaker answered, "Well, you see, I was in the wrong room."
*****

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he
noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders
hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.

The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.

'Thanks,' the girl replied.

The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '

The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.'
*****

Not only did I get the last question wrong, but was immediately asked to leave.

The question was: "Where do women have the curliest hair?"

...Apparently the correct answer is:

'Fiji Islands'.

Now! Does anyone want to come and sit on my lap and tell me what you have learned today?
(crickets - crickets)

Ingrates!
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Gotta Go Again

Gotta go again...but not to pee this time (well, soon) but to NY with another load of dogs heading to forever homes.

If not too tired, I'll me nude blogging Friday night at the motel. Otherwise, I'll check back you peeps on Saturday night.

TTFN
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Splaining The Nude Blogging Thing

I thinks I needs to splain this nude blogging thing. I know it is a fantasy for all you women - and probably a few men - in thinking bout me all alone in a motel room nude. It’s not because I am a pervert, though…well not totally anyway. It’s just that there is no need to put anything on after I take my shower.

Before Judy and I got married I spend many a day in the nude hanging around the house. I slept in the nude and, since I had no plans to go anywhere or see anyone, I didn’t see the need to dress and dirty some clothes for nothing. I didn’t take it outside, though. It is just to much trouble fighting off all the women who wanted a piece of this hotness.

Not so much anymore, though. BUT (no pun intended,) when I go on a dog transport I will be wearing the same clothes for close to thirty hours. And when unloading the dogs, some of them are nervous or scared, so they will pee on my pants or shirt. I’ve even had them up-chuck or poop on me, too. However, I cannot change at that moment, so I have to wait until I get to the motel. After I shower, there is no need to put anything on until tomorrow. It’s just me.

So that is why I nude blog from the motel. But if any of you still feel the need to fantasies, I can’t blame you. There is still plenty of hotness here…somewhere. I know there is…