TMI THURSDAY - NOT

Today Is TMI Thursday - And I Have Nothing!



OKAY! OKAY! (arms out front moving up and down palms down)

That's enough folks.

Okay!

Enough!

HEY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Thank you!

I have spent the last two days running my sister to and from the doctors, running around doing stuff and I just haven't had time to think of anything to tell you. Boring life I tell ya.

Anytrip, today I am on my monthly transport trip to NY through all the rain, ice and snow and stuff.

Again, I am so fucking happy. But I will be back Saturday, though I will check in on y'all Friday night.

TMI Thursday - The Double Date

LivItLuvIt


It’s that time of week again, peeps. I mentioned last week that I might tell you about me almost getting killed and my roommate almost getting the pecker bitten off. At the same time. And NO it wasn’t me that almost bit it off. I don’t do throat swabs that way.

Again it was back in the early eighties and I was in my late thirties, still young and innocent and wet behind the ears - airlines, buses and theatres aside. Anyage, I was in my late thirties and was dating an older woman. She was a very fine looking, sexy 50 year old. Sweet, too. And my roommate was dating - kinda - her best friend.

This particular night we had double dated and gone to a movie. On the way home we stopped off for a burger and a few beers. Lot’ a talking and laughing and joke telling and stuff. Just having fun.

So, since we had to work the next day, we were calling it an early night and started home. We had about a 20 mile trip ahead of us on I-285. My date, who was more experienced in life than poor innocent me, wanted to have some fun while we rode home. (Later she admitted that she and her BFF had it planned.) So she reached over and unzipped my jeans. They were a little tight and there was copious amounts of pulling and tugging before the object of her desire was freed. Then she went down on it.

Now we had been dating for about a month and were no stranger to erotic things, but this was my first time having erotic things done while I was driving. So, needless to say, I was kinda surprised. Surprised enough to change lanes and back with horns blowing and people making ugly guesters as they passed by. But I manned-up and got the car under control.

Then I remembered my roommate and his date. I looked into the rearview mirror and saw him with his head back and no other head showing. He was getting his little helmet buffed, too.

Cool!

Anybobbing, we were getting closer to the exit needed to take them back to her house and I was getting closer to the end myself. The problem was, the exit and I were happening at the same time. With her increasing pace I was driving proportionally faster. So when I hit the exit ram I was going over 80 mph. She was too. And I had reached maximum resistance and unloading; frozen with my feet on the accelerator approaching the end of the ramp and a red light.

I regaind a little control over my arms and legs and took my feet off the gas, but I was at the intersection with no time to stop or scream or shit or do anything but turn. I had come off on the left side of the ramp and the only way I could turn was left. God help us. And he did.

I jerked the wheel to the left and barely missed a car coming toward my drivers door, horn blaring. But he missed and I made it into the correct lane with out anyone hitting me on the right. But I had to swerve and hit my breaks and shit which was throwing us around in the car. Especially my roommates date.

With all the jerking and swerving and horn blowing, she was slung around and before she could do anything, she clamped down on my roommate and almost bit his woman pleaser off. He was yelling and beating her on the back of the head and cussing and stuff. He didn’t even get to finish either.

My date was experienced enough to know to get off as soon as possible, so she was thrown against the passenger door while all the swerving and dodging and breaking was going on. Then she started to laugh. The bitch laughed.

I pulled into a service station and just looked at her. She thought that was the funniest thing she had ever done. Roommate was a little upset and BFF was mad at me for driving like an ass and at roommate for beating her on the back of the head. I ask him if he needed to go to the doctor and he said no. It was only bleeding a little.

Interesting night! Roommate and BFF didn’t date anymore after that, and I only hung around the girlfriend for a month or so myself. She was fun. And I’ve had similar experiences while driving since, but that was the one that almost got me killed and my roommate a sex change all in one night.

That's about it for the erotice side of my life. The rest is pretty boring. I'll work on the memory banks and see if I have anything else worth writhing about for next week. Probably not, though. Boring, I tell ya. Boring Life!
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TMI Thursday - The Bus Ride

It's TMI Thursday again. Lilu at LIVITLUVIT is the mastermind behind this. Flip over and check her out and the link to past TMI's.


Last Thursday I mentioned something about a Greyhound bus ride. Unlike the Mile High Club, which I joined by the way, you don’t get a pin, or medal or free bail or anything for getting laid on a bus.

We had just returned for the Westpack (Western Pacific - Japan) and I was taking a couple of weeks leave to go home. The bus trip is three days and nights of travel, but it was about 1/8th the price of an airline ticket. So the bus it was.

As I sat down I looked around. The bus wasn’t full and there were three other sailors, a Marine and two Army guys on board, too. Then this girl came walking down the isle and sit one row back and across the isle from me. Nothing was said or anything. I don’t know about the other dudes, but I was waiting for Mr. or an SO to show up. But no one did. So as the bus was pulling out of the terminal I looked at the other guys. We all looked back and forth and at her. But no one moved or acted like they were going to make a move. I thought to myself that ’You Snooze; You Loose’, so I walked over and ask if I could sit with her.

We talked for the first couple of hours and a couple of bus stops, till the sun went down. She had just gotten kicked out of the Univ. of Hawaii for some infraction and was on her way back to Phoenix to regroup with her family.

The more we talked the closer I got to her. So after we pulled out the a bus stop somewhere in the mountains of California and it was dark outside, I leaned over and kissed her. She kiss back. BOING!!!

We made out for an hour or so. Then the petting started and BOING, BOING. About that time we crossed into Arizona and the bus pulled into a terminal where a lady came on board renting pillows and blankets. She rented a blanket. And when we pulled out, the seat across the isle had two of the sailors and the seat behind them had the Marine and one of the Army guys teasing us. Jealous fuckers. You snooze you loose.

So under the blanket my 13 buttons were undone and the flap pulled down and I was getting a great massage. I was able to get her jeans unbuttoned and down a little. Man, she had some hips. Anystroke, she ask if I had any protection. I thought an Angle was talking to me. But I said that I didn’t. She ask if I’d promise to pull out on time. I said, “No!” She gave me a jab in the gut and told me I had better. And rolled onto her left side and pulled her jeans down.

It was all I could do not to look over my shoulder and give the guys a huge grin like a opossum shitting a peach seed (I got that one from a blogging buddy) but I didn’t. I was cool. However inside I was doing the Mexican Hat Dance.

So the loving began. Not long, but at least I lasted long enough to get it in. She looked over her shoulder at me with a ’you didn’t just do that did you’ look. And I assured her I would be okay again shortly. I was and we did.

Not long afterward, we pulled into Phoenix where her two brothers met her. The guys were thanking her as she got out of her seat and she just bowed and said she was glad they enjoyed the show. She then turned and gave me one last kiss and walked out of my life for…a couple of weeks. We wrote each other for about a year, but I never got back to Phoenix and she got married to one of her college professors.

The rest of the trip home was pretty uneventful. But that was okay. I don’t think I could have topped the beginning of the trip anyway. You just don’t get that lucky twice in one bus trip.

That’s about it for my sex stories…well…maybe next week I’ll tell you about how I almost got killed and my room mate almost got his pecker bit off. We’ll see.

Now don’t stop here. Keep reading. There is a couple of awesome videos you need to see.
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TMI Thursday at Talladega

***Update*** LiLu has informed me that I am to link to her, but I don't know were she lives. Anyway, I think she actually meant for me to link here at LiLu's place or something like that. I don't know. I'm a Beaver Hunter, now a IT person for Christ Sake.

I guess it’s time I did a TMI thing like everyone else. Okay!

Back in the early 80’s I was newly divorce and enjoying a somewhat semi-successful stint of getting laid. Ya know. There are some lean times when your right arm muscle looks like Popeye’s, and some prosperous times when all the cardio helps keep the abs tight. And I was in the cardio/abs phase and enjoying it very much. Nothing was culled (thrown away) and all was enjoyed. And I was on my way to becoming an autograph giving star.

My roommate, Bill, and I double dated on a trip to Talladega for a weekend of camping, booze, grass, cookouts and some awesome NASCAR racing - back when men raced and pussies like Kyle Bush and Jeff Gordon watched from the grandstands.

Anyway, on Saturday night, after a day of watching what was then called Bush cars race and loads of cold beer and a toke or two, my lady and I felt the need for some serious belly slapping. So we excused ourselves to the tent to commence the exploration of some never before seen territory. Yep, you could have call me an explorer, a mountain man (or mounting man) back then. Old Coffeypot Boone, king of the beaver hunters…what? Oh, sorry!

Anyway, Bill and his lady got this brilliant idea of a joke. They backed the car around and put the headlights on bright aiming at the tent. I didn’t notice as I thought all the light was from the heaven I was in at the time. Golden light of pleasure…what? OKAY! Damn! I try to be a little artistic here. Fuck you!

Oh, and speaking of fucking…all the campers from acres around the track gathered at the back of our tent and got a silhouette show of their life. Me on top, her on top, doggie style and the good old 69. I was a star. I was oblivious! But she knew what was going on and was getting more turned on by the exhibition. So, yep, I was in haven. Till it was over!

I heard all this yelling and clapping noise and, still being fucked up on booze and grass, and probably a little dumb as hell, I thought maybe one of the NASCAR drivers had stopped by for some fan adulation and autographs. So I jumped into my shorts and came outside. Bill was laughing his ass off, clapping me on the back and telling me good show.

Others started coming over and congratulating me and my lady and offered us free beer. One guy and two girls came over and ask for my autograph. They had taken pictures and videos of the shadow scene and wanted autographs to go along with them.

At fist I was kind of embarrassed, then, with all the commotion and adulation I was receiving, I got kind of cocky (no pun intended.) My lady then told me she knew what was happening and it had turned her on. She wanted to do it again, and that’s when the cockiness went away. I couldn’t!

But I did enjoy making the movie and saw a great NASCAR race on Sunday. It was a great weekend.

My Own TMI

I see that some of you do a TMI Thursday deal with a picture and all. Well, I don’t do to well with rules and protocol so I will post something without the picture of the two old people fucking. Okay?

Actually there are two stories.

Back in the day, just after my discharge from the Navy, my buddy, Joe Chapman, and I were on a double date. I had just met this lovely young thing and Joe was with his girlfriend. We had gone to the movies and, being the big spenders we were, stopped at a Sonic for a late snack.

We were laughing and having a good time when I started to feel bad. I broke out in a sweat and had a pain in my lower right side. I talked Joe into taking me to my car and I was taking the young lady home early. I was hurting.

I was in a ‘55 Chevy with the shifter on the steering column (remember those?) and was trying to drive bent over. She was very nice and concerned, and wanted to say with me, but I figured if I was having an attack of appendicitis she didn’t need to be stuck at the hospital with me. I’m caring like that. Besides, I was pissed…I was planning on taping that later on that night. But nnooooo!

Anyway, I dropped her of with a promise to call her as soon as I could. I then drove to a hospital close by. The admitting nurse saw how I was hurting and sweating and stuff and sent me straight into a room. She even went with me to get all the particulars and insurance card and stuff. Gosh those were the days when medical professional actually cared if you lived or died.

Anyway, the doctor, a little oriental dude, came in to check me out. Blood pressure, temp and stuff. Then he put on the rubber gloves and brought out a jar of Vaseline and I knew what I was in for.

He had me get on my knees on the table and rammed his finger up my virgin ass. That was when the explosion started. He even jumped back and yelled, “Goddamn!”

His gloved hand and part of his white coat sleeve were covered in poop. And I felt like a blown up balloon with the air blowing out. AAHHHH!

The doctor pulled off his gloves and took off his lab coat and put it in a garbage bag and threw a wet towel across my ass and told me to clean myself up. He then walked up beside me and said, “Son, I think I have just cured you.” and walked out of the room.

I was kinda embarrassed and relieved. It’s hard to look embarrassed and smile at the same time. And I had to wait another two weeks before I got to tap that you thing. We dated for about 6 months, but we had a rocky start.

The other story is I had the girlfriend, Linda. She was my platonic friend and we ran around together for over four years. I introduced her to her present husband and she adopted a baby boy and named him after me.

Anyway, I was dating her roommate and spent most of my weekends with them. We were chilling one Sunday watching the Falcons embarrass themselves as they constantly did back then. I was on my way to the kitchen to get another beer and had to walk by Linda. I though it would be super cool and funny to fart on her as I walked by.

Just as I got even with her head I turned and got real close so she could enjoy the full aroma of a Coffeyfart. But to my surprise, I shit my pants instead. Not a rabbit turd, either. A full load a runny, baby shit soaking. She still laughs at me to this day, twenty eight years later. Bitch!