30 Truths About Maturity

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewellers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

29. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

30. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet money everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
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Tell It Like It Is About Ft. Hood And The Shooting

There are some awesome writers on my blog roll, (LL and all five of his sites, Nicki Goomba and his compadre’s, Old Blue at Afghan Quest, Sgt. Charlie and Rational Nation to name a few. These patriots post daily entries that tell it like it is and they need to be read world wide.

Today Nicki Goomba post a video from Fox News with Bill O’Reilley concerning the Ft. Hood shooting. I stole it from Nicki for your viewing pleasure.

This is something that you will not hear from the White Pad and Jeraldo or CNN or MSNBC, etc. But it is the truth and needs to be heard. Wake up America and let’s stop this Politically Correct Bullshit.



What do you think?

Ponderisms

 
Peeps, you know how much I care about your education, and that I always try to give you the latest, most up-to-date information I can gather to further that goal. But sometimes I learn from you peeps, too. And when that happens, it is my commitment to you and your ‘learning’s’ that I forward the information on to you. I know, I know! I’m great and stuff, but it’s only because I care about each and every one of you.

So, the other day I was perusing several of my blogger friends ( okay, I was looking at all of’em) when I ran across this tidbit of knowledge from my friend Bob over at Citizen Soldier. He be a smart dude, too.

So for your continuing educational…uh…education I give you:

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about see ing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole @#?}%&! box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Okay! That’s it for today. Class will be continued at a later date that will be determined by me and a surprise to you. In the mean time, keep learning, laughing and loving (call me if it’s pretty good) and I’ll see ya later.

Your welcome!

John

More Words of Wisdom

Words of wisdom! Some you have seen before, but all have a ring of truth.

1. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

2. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

3. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

4. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

5. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the hips change places.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

8. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she is pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

9. There is always one more imbecile that you counted on.

10. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark and a team of educated, trained professionals built the Titanic.

11. It is easier to get forgiveness than to ask for permission.

12. Don’t worry what people think, they don’t do it very often.

13. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

14. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

15. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.

16. A person who is nice to you but is rude to the waitress is not a nice person.

17. Its not the jeans that make your ass look fat…it’s the fat.

18. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

19. No one cares if you can’t dance. Just get up and do it.

20. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

And finally,

21. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background is that we are above average drivers