15 Reasons Architects & Engineers Can't Be Left Alone

Architects and engineers compete to see whose team can build the most spectacular structure using little more than cans of food at Canstruction, the 13th annual NYC Design and Build competition in New York

All these cans will go to the food bank afterwards.

Scroll down and enjoy.
















And Remember:

Happiness keeps You Sweet ,
Trials keep You Strong ,
Sorrows keep You Human ,
Failures keeps You Humble ,
Success keeps You Glowing ,
But Only God keeps You Going

Another MeMe

Ollie, at Ollie Unglued, had this meme and I though you would like...nay LOVE...to know more about me and my deepenst thoughts and feelings. So grab a glass of wine, or a cold bottle of beer, or a glass of ice tea, or your crack pipe and read along:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the opossum and the armadillo it can be done.

What was your last thought?
I’ve never had one, just continuous string of the annoying things.

Are you a cat or a dog person?
Dog! Cats are too stringy and tough to chew.

Define yourself in 3 words.
Tall, Old, Gullible

Kill the spider or let it out?
Watch it for awhile then smash it.

Do you shower every single day?
Yes!

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?
Kick him into unconsciousness and take his bottle of Thunder Bird.

Where do you want to travel next?
Iraq or Afghanistan.

What is your favorite food?
Lost my virginity and have become a Sushi fanatic. But I still love Steaks.

Did you read Harry Potter books?
Oh Hell yeah. Though the last two were a bit long and boring.

What is your favorite place?
At a NASCAR track or on the flight deck of a Navy carrier or AF base.

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?
To fly along reading peoples minds while looking at their naked bodies with my x-ray vision.

Have you had a beer in the last week?
Having one now.

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Vitamin Water with Scotch.

What is your favorite song of all time?
The One I Am Grooving To At The Time.

When and where was the best picture of you taken?
Never had a good picture of me take anywhere.

Is This Better?

Love Rodney!

Sex With Bea

HOLD IT BOYS AND GIRLS...MAKE SURE THE KIDDIES AND THE STUCKUP PRUDES AND BAPTIST ARE OUT OF THE ROOM BEFORE YOU OPEN THIS ONE...I'M JUST SAYING...

Meet my new girlfriend, Bea. Ain't she a darling?

The Man and the Genie

A man has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water.

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.

There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy, says the genie. You know how I work. You have three wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the man. 'I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'

The man thinks about this for a minute and decides that the genie is right.

'OK! I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF***

The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of water and wine and platters of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.'

** *POOF***

The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.

'OK, dude, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says, 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.'

***POOF***

He was turned into a tampon.

Moral of the story:

If the government offers to help you, there's going to be a string attached.

The Assumption Song

This is not my usual stuff, but it's all I have today.
I got it from my brother, Sister Stephen.

OLD GEEZERS

ME AND CHUCK DECIDE THAT WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO OUR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, WE END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OF US AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, “GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.”

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND CHUCK AND I GO UPSTAIRS TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.

AS WE WERE WALKING HOME I TURN TO CHUCK AND SAID,
“YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!”

“DEAD?” SAYS CHUCK, “WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?”

“WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND THE WHOLE TIME I WAS HUMPING HER.”

CHUCK SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SAYS, “COULD BE WORSE. I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.”

“A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?”

“WELL,” HE SAID, “I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK AND STUFF, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE LOVE BITE. THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER, TOO!”

Three Generals

I told you guys that I sent a couple of days with an old shipmate in Chattanooga last week. Chuck is one of the fingers on my one hand (friends) and I would be glad and feel safe to have him on my six anytime, anhywhere.

Chuck is a deacon in the Catholic Church and as such can give sermons, which he does often, and most everything a priest can do except give absolution and hear confessions and molest little boys.

He is retired from some company where he did photo shoots for catalogs and volunteered his time as a prison minister. He didn’t actually preach in the jails and prisons, he just mostly listen to the men talk. He is well known and loved in the Illinois penal system and in his church community. And he is my friend.

While we were together, I took them down to Kennesaw, GA, to the museum that houses The General, the train William Andrews and his men stole at Big Shanty (now Kennesaw) and started the Great Locomotive Chase. Maryann, his wife, took this picture and Chuck titled it, “The Three Generals.” Cool, huh?

Y'all note: The Haversack Chuck is wearing as a camera case is an actual Civil War Haversack.

Here Again...You Here?

I have deleted my last post. I have to learn to put the keyboard down and back away slowly when I’m exhausted and have had a drink or two. I thank you for your comments and support, but I’m okay. Kind of embarrassed that I let you see that, and it won’t happen again. Life is too good and short to deal with bullshit.


So for you people who stop here (why do you stop here, anyway? It’s not for the literary brilliance because I am not a writer, it’s not for the insightful musings on today’s problems and the idiocy of Barry Obama like some of my brilliant blogger peeps like LL or CI Roller or Blue of Afghan Quest among others, so it must be for the jokes.) So for that reason I give you:
"Eat" is the only word that if you take the 1st letter and move
it to the last, it spells its past tense; "ate" .

If you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants", and add
just a few more letters, it spells out: "Fuck off and go home you
free-loading benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent, non-English
speaking cocksuckers and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing,
bomb making goat fucking smelly rag head bastards with you."

Who could have ever guessed that last one?

On The Road Again

I’m at it again this weekend. Because my step-daughter and wife are going on a vacation next week (the week I would normally do the transport) so it was moved up a week.

Okay with me, except it means I’ll be away from the PC till I can get into a motel Friday night. So don’t post anything worth reading till I get back, okay?

Later, peeps!

A Beautiful Message

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD...




SHIT!
I forgot what it is...

Mom Watched

My brother and I were out walking in the country one fine summer evening.

I said, "Hey Stephen, you see that grove of trees over there? Well, that's where I had sex for the first time.... we got it on while her mother stood there and watched over us!"

Stephen, being a bit shy and gay, was a little shocked to hear this: "Are you serious? Did her mother say anything?"

"Yeah...... Baaaaaaaaaah!"

I Got Mail

The above photo is of some of the 1140th MP group training in MS.

I am stoked, very happy. But first let me state that I don’t normally do this - talk about things I do outside my blogging sphere. And those I work with on the blogging network I make promise to not mention me when they send out thanks. Reason? Because I don’t do this stuff for recognition, but out of respect and love for those who put themselves in harms way so I can enjoy my blogging life and the freedom of this country.

I have recently become involved in military support (milsupport.) I have four people that I send packages and letters. They are in the Marines, Air Force, Army and National Guard. The Marine, 1st Sgt Michael Burk, will be on his way back to his home base in Hawaii the last of this month. You can read his blog on Castra Prateoria on my blog roll. The others are still imbedded in the shit holes of the earth.

The Air Force guy is a Chief MSgt and has 160 airmen and women imbedded with Army units all over Iraq. His unit is an Intel unit and when I send him stuff, he shares the wealth. He loads it up, climbs on a chopper or a plane and takes it out to his people in the Suck. He is really a class guy, too.

The Army dude is a Lt Col in the medical field. He is a surgeon and is in the middle of some bad shit. He, too, spreads the wealth to his people, who happen to be mostly Navy Corpsmen and the children who come in with injuries received from the Taliban assholes. Y’all read about FOB Keating? The wounded came though his unit. He, too, is a class act and a true hero.

But the reason I am writing about it this time is a couple of weeks ago, Hope, over at Hope Radio, sent out a request for people to adopt a member of a Missouri National Guard Unit (the 1140th MP Co.) The names she had came from the units 1st Sgt, a former contact and supportee of hers, as troops (men and women) who had not received ANY mail in months. She was rewarded with around 15 people wanting to get involved. I got one, packed up a care package and sent an introductory letter to him.

Today I got a thank you email from Spc Robert Grindstaff. He is 22 years old, been in the Army NG for 3 years, working on a degree in Criminal Justice and plans on going to the Police Academy when he returns to MO. He also has a brand new baby girl that he has only spent two weeks with. He does not receive mail from the baby’s mother as he is not married and I don’t know the status of his relationship.

He said, in part, “Thank you so much for the package that you sent, it means a lot to know that there are people back home who still think of us while we are over here at war. Everything has come in handy.”

And “Thank you for the package again, and we are all thinking of all the people back home, its one of the few things that helps us go day to day. Thinking of all of the supporters we have.”

I’ve received many emails from the other guys mentioned, but this one means the most because he has no one writing or supporting him. He seems to have a plan for his life and I will be rooting for him as much as I can.

I can’t explain how proud I am of the men and women who gave up some of their freedoms and a chance to make much more money and date and party and marry and stuff, to serve in a shit hole country and try to make a difference in the world. There are many types of Heroes and these men and women are certainly one type.

There are other types of Heroes on my blog roll, too. LL, CI-Roller Dude, Army of Dude, Citizen Sojak, Citizen Soldier, Kanani Fung - the wife of the Surgeon, Major Perspective, Sgt Charlie, Sgt Grumpy, and my newest blogger, Dacker and, of course, Hope among others. Anytime you want to stop by their place and give them a thank you, will be okay with me.

There are many more like Robert and the other MPs Hope sent out to her contacts. If you want to make a difference in someone’s life, give me or Hope a shout and one of us can tell you how to get started. You won’t regret it.

Hope has men still writing to her that are now discharged and back in the World, and men who are on second and third deployments. Men who send donations to help her in her mailings. Men who she will have as friends for life simply because she took the time to write a letter or send a few things to help them out. They don’t forget.

I know. I would have love to have had a little support from home or from some friends. It is a bummer to see your mates reading and sharing stuff on mail day and you have to rely on a book or a training manual to occupy your mind. I have even volunteered to stand others watches so I wouldn’t have to be part of the stuff in the compartment.

Hope, however, is totally dedicated to this project, much more than I am. Airman Mom, who has two sons in the Air Force (one about to be deployed), also has made lasting friends of people she calls her virtual sons. So if you want to make some lasting friends, and make someone’s life a little better, let one of us know.

And don’t send me any of this ‘Thank You’ shit. Don’t want to hear it. Save it for the troops serving for us and the people on my blog roll. Just so you know…

Now I return your set back over to you and I will restart the debauchery tomorrow.

Later, Peeps!

Conservatives vs Liberals

I found this on a blog that I don’t read, just went there from one I do.

The truest comparison I have ever seen!

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll send his friends & they will have a good laugh.
A liberal won't delete it because he's "offended", he will cry and piss himself and lay in the fetal position in their own urine for the rest of the day because that’s what they do.

The Loving Wife

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain...do what ever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.

Be strong honey. I love you too.'

COLLEGE TUITION AT WORK

A Giant Caterpillar was found in a College Dorm Room....


I'll bet their parents are proud!

New Bloggin Award for Daffy

My new found blogger babe (and secret crush and fantasy goddess - don't tell her, it‘s just for me to know) Daffy, has posted about a certain body spray. It doesn’t seem to be high on her list of things she likes to smell.

I thing it rates somewhere below a fresh shit and a loud wet fart. Maybe even below a dead, bloated opossum on the side of the road.

Anyway, she doesn’t like it because it is sprayed or slathered on all the teens in her school (where she performs a great service as an interpreter for the hearing impaired - in English - you have to read her blog to understand that one) and causes her anguish in breathing and trouble keeping her eyes dry and not looking like they are going to burst a vessel and bleed down her face.

So I got to thinking…yeah I know…all us bloggers have stalkers out there who sneak onto our pages and not leave comments. Comments are important and the reason we do this shit. We love to read your comments, opinions and ideas. It’s called communication (and you bloggers who write your stuff and do not comment to the commenter’s are just being narcissistic and rude. We want to know what you think or feel about what he had to say to YOU, fucker.) Now there are times when a response cannot be given due to timing, location, and stuff, but I try to do it regularly. But I digress.

We were talking about Daffy and her olfactory problem. In thinking about it, I got this idea for a Stalker Repellant award, and I think she should be the first recipient of the magnanimous award.

So here is the new AXE Stalker Repellant Award.

AXE Stalker Repellant Award

Though I’m not sure if it can be posted due to silly things like infringement laws, and copyright laws and shit like that. So, maybe it will just have to be the thought that counts.

Swan Lake - Chinese Style

You won't see this on Soul Train or MTV, but it is cool.

Got A Secret?

A few weeks ago a new blogger made herself known to me. How she found me I don’t know, but there she was. She had just started her blog a couple of days before and was looking for contributors to her blog. That’s her on the left over there (I think. That‘s the picture she has posted anyway. Hot, Huh!) She is Secretia Teller and she is on my blog roll as Secret Story Time. http://www.secretstorytime.blogspot.com/

I went over and found a very cool site and I think a needed place for us bloggers. We all have secrets and hidden desires and lies we are living and can tell no one about, and it eats in us. This place lets you say what you want to say, confess what you need to confess and still be anonymous.

There is some funny shit over there and some eye openers, too. And NO I haven’t divulged any secrets. I have no secrets. You guys know everything about me - that I want you to know. But for a fun read, head over to see the girl (I assume Secretia is a girl, woman, female, ho, whatever, since she is secret, too.)

Tell her John sent you and she will let you post a secret of your own, free of charge. If your secrets are sexy and dirty, you can let me know, too. I like that shit. And I won’t tell anyone either. Promise!

New MeMe

Hillbilly Duhn tagged me to do this meme. I haven’t done one in awhile so here goes.

1. What is your cell phone? Black Berry and I’m not afraid to use it.

2. Your hair? Gray and a little thinner than it was yesterday.

3. Your Mother? Dead! Not expected to come back either.

4. Your Father? Dead! Not expected to come back either.

5. Your favorite food? What ever is in front of me. Usually anything with hamburger in, on or around it.

6. Your dream last night? I was in a three-way with Daffy and HB, and they were laying face to face, one on top of the other and I was just about to… and I woke up. Premature awakealation. I hate it when that happens.

7. Your favorite drink? Depends on the mood or food. Bud Light, Jack Black on rocks, 7&7, iced tea or diet Coke.

8. Your dream/goal? Dream - Race in NASCAR. Goal - live longer than Methuselah.

9. What room are you in? Family Room!

10. Your hobby? Naked Blogging. But it’s difficult…I keep knocking the laptop off my lap.

11. Your fear? My wife catching me enjoying my hobby.

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? At my age I think more of where I’ll be in 6 minuets. But I hope in another house and enjoying the country.

13. Where were you last night? Chattanooga!

14. Something you aren't? A Socialist Democrat!

15. Muffins? What, baby?

16. Wish list item? Winning Lottery Numbers!

17. Where did you grow up? I was born and raised in Atlanta, but I haven’t grown up yet.

18. Last thing you did? Finished typing #17.

19. What are you wearing? Cargo shorts and a t-shirt (commando).

20. Your TV? On!

21. Your Pets? Until we get the house sold, staying with my step-daughter, Dr. Amber.

22. Your friends? Don’t have any.

23. Your life? Friendless!

24. Your mood? Sad because I don’t have any friends.

25. Missing someone? Friends! Do you see a pattern here?

26. Vehicle? '06 Ford F150!

27. Something your not wearing? Condom!

28. Your favorite store? WalMart!

29. What's your favorite color? Blue and earth tones! Piml in a woman.

30. When was the last time you laughed? 1952!

31. Last time you cried? Just now when LSU beat UGA - Cajun, Alligator Fucking Bastards.

32. Your best friend? My right hand!

33. One place that I go over and over again? The bathroom!

34. One person who emails me regularly? Chuck!

35. Favorite place to eat? Waffle House!

I won’t ask anyone to do this, just grab it and run with it if you have this incredible desire to do so. But at least come back and tell me so I can go read your entry.

Loyalty

I don't usually pass along awards sent to me. Although I am always surprised and honored when it happens, and I greatly appreciate the thought, time and effort it takes for someone to appreciate me enough to send one, I have a hard time believing that anyone else would give a shit about receiving one from me.


However, one of my favorite bloggers, Daffy, over at Batcrap Crazy (see my blog roll - I still don't know how to put a link in my stuff,) sent me the awesome award above yesterday and I am going to pass it along to my buddy, Hope. Her loyalty and commitment to her troops and sailors across the pond is unmatched in my realm of experience.

Many, many men and women have received a ray of light in a dark and bleak world, while making a safer place for us to live, by the letters and packages she sends them. Having served and being one of the guys who rarely received mail and never any support from home, I know how much it means to have the support she sends their way.

She will also give out names and address for others who could use the touch of home from others. And many of those she has supported still keep in contact with her after their deployment and/or discharge.

So, for her LOYALTY to the troops while raising four kids and a sick (right now) husband, I send this her way.

Home and Tired

I’m home now and very tired. But it is a good tired. I stayed in Chattanooga last night and got an early start today. I took Chuck and Maryann down to my neck of the woods.

We started off in the town of Kennesaw (Big Shanty of the Great Locomotive Chase fame) and visited the museum where the train, General, is housed. Then we went to Kennesaw Mountain and the battlefield park. We ran all over the top of the mountain seeing views of downtown Atlanta, Mid Town and Buckhead on the Southern horizon and Kennesaw, Lost Mountain and Acworth Mountain on the North West. It was very cloud and sprinkling rain so Stone Mountain to the East was kinda hazy.

We then went to a major battlefield of the Kennesaw campaign, Cheetheam Hill. There are still cannons and dirt forts there and the ditch’s (rifle pits) for the infantry to fire down the hill at the charging Yankees. There is a monument to a 1st Coffey from Ohio, who was mortally wounded and buried at that spot about 20 yards from the trenches. Why one man, of all those killed, have a marker is beyond me. He was dug up and moved to the National Cemetery in Marietta.

Then we went to Woodstock, met my wife, and had dinner at the Right Wing Café. It is a cool restaurant in the old train station and is dedicated to anything Republican. Go here http://www.rightwingtavern.com/www/ to see the menu.

Then I took them back to Chattanooga and came home. It was a good two days. But my ass is dragging. TTYL, Peeps!

Out Of Town - Kinda

Thank all of you for commenting on my last two or three post and I haven’t commented back because I am in Chattanooga visiting one of my old Navy buddies who is here for a reunion with his other ship.

You have heard me mention Quartermaster Chuck? He and his wife, Maryann, and I spent the day in GA at the Chickamauga Battle Field. This is such a quiet and beautiful park of several thousand acres of fields and trees. I could live here forever.

Tomorrow I am taking them down to Kennesaw, GA, to the site of the beginning of the Great Locomotive Chase. Then over to the Kennesaw Mountain and Cheatham Hill Battle Sites. I miss you guys. I have been receiving your comments on my BB, but can’t comment back as I am driving and talking and pointing and explaining and shit. So please accept this as my comment to you.

Thanks, peeps, See y’all tomorrow night.

God Is Great, Beer Is Good

I love this song.

Go to YouTube and watch the video that is closed captioned.
Makes me a little sad, though.

San Francisco Stroll

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..."

So he wrapped his arms around the tree & pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.

When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day...cupcake."

You Can't Fix Stupid

Sure Wish They Would Invent Something

To Keep The Sun Out Of My Eyes.

The Obama Lecture

This is from my blogging buddy, Jim, over at That's All I'm Saying, a great blog that deserves more readers and commentors.

Now all this needed was the sweaty hands and the hammer banging out VII.

It's a shame our Imperial Leader will not listen to sound advice like this. Now, if Victor Chavez or Saudi King Fahd had said it, he would be all over it. Not only did he bow to a king, it was a king with a bed sheet over his head. The bed sheet wearers, or the KKK, were also Democrats. Read your history.

The Bride Is A Boob

Imagine the following:


You have just made it through your wedding ceremony and have stepped out on the front steps of the church. The photographer raises his camera. Following a family tradition, both of you hold white doves which you will release together.

You and your new bride stand shoulder to shoulder with a dove in your hands as your friends and family eagerly wait. The photographer gives the signal and you and your bride open your hands toward the sky. Not a dry eye anywhere, the camera flashes; the moment is saved for eternity...

Cooking With Bacon Grease - A Warning

I NEVER REALIZED THE REAL DANGER OF REUSING BACON GREASE.....UNTIL NOW.

I HOPE I AM NOT TOO LATE GETTING THIS INFO TO SOME OF YOU......

BETTER CHECK NOW!!

The question is: Do you use bacon grease?

We were raised on bacon grease (lard) as kids and even into adulthood. I hope you will throw yours away whenever you fry bacon from now on. It seems as though nothing is safe to eat anymore.





This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. It could happen to you.

This is a warning, send this to everyone you care about........






Bacon grease will make your feet small.

My 65th Birthday Present - Blue Grass

**UPDATE**
I forgot to tell you about the card my wife gave me. It said:
"Through the years we've shared so mcuh together.
Tears, and even drama.
An althought we've been through so many changes,
you still manage to turn me on."

OPEN THE CARD

"Happy Birthday From The TV."

So True!

***

Okay, as I said in the post before this, I found out how to post some of the pictures.

You can see the clouds in the mountains that are part of the Application chain - and the rain.

This is the court house on the square in Blairsville. You can see that it has been raining, and just before the deluge.

The lady mandolin player in the light blue sweater had a unique way of playing the instrimunt and all I could thing of was, 'Man, I bet she could give an awesome hand job.' But the whole group had some good tunes and songs.

This is Sunday morning. What a difference a day makes.

The grandkids decorated the car for my birthday.


The kids gave me my favorite car - a '57 Chevrolet hardtop.

I won't boar you with all the people and bands we heard, but I will show you the BEST damn even of the whole weekend.


This is a tent set up outside the Hole In The Wall Cafe and it is just for jamming. Anyone with an instrument could pull up a chair and start playing. There were 4 fiddles, 3 banjo's, 5 guitars, and a base. They all played in perfect harmony like they had been playing together for years. There ranged from a 90 somehting man on the banjo to a 14 year old on the fiddle.

Then I heard the sound of an instrument that I didnt' see. I looked around and there he was.

The man was playing the strange Dobro Guitar. Love that sound. And there is the little old lady sitting there playing the spoons.

I tell ya, folks. That was the best music I have ever heard. Just a bunch of good old boys picking and a grinning.

There are many more pictures of the festival, and the trip we made to Bardstown Bald, the highest point in Georgia at 4,874 feet. Now I know that is the equivalent of a morning tent-pole hard compared to other mountains, but it has some great views. You can see NC, SC, TN and on a real clear day, KY. You can’t see the little dotted lines that separates the states because the are in the valley. The temp never gets above the mid-eighties in the summer and can go down to 24 degrees below in the winter. I can show you those pictures sometime.

But for now, I had a great birthday even though I wasn’t in it emotionally. Except for the music. You can’t not tap you foot and feel the rhythm when the banjos are rolling and the guitars are a picking and the mandolins are a strumming. The only American made music we have. Got to love it.

Birthday Present

Some of you know that Sunday was my birthday. I don't talk or post about it because it is nothing but just another day to me. Since I overheard my mom tell a buch of old biddies at the church one day that I was a mistake, well, there isn't much reason to celebrate. I never had a birtday part growing up, in fact I never had a birthday party until my 30 birthday. And I came in around midnight (I was going to night school at GA State Univ at the time,) told everyone thank you and went to bed.

So no one in the famiy gives me presents most of the time. We usually use any funds for presents to go to my Navy reunion, which takes place arund this time every year. However, since there was no reunion this year, my wife did two things that was pretty cool. She and the grandkids took me to a Blue Grass Festivle in the mountains of Blairsville, GA. The the other was, I got this book.

This is my favorie all time book. There have been very few books I have read over and over, and this is one. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, by the late, great Dee Brown, was first read back in the late 60's. It has been revised some, and now in hardback. Very cool for me. Especially since it has pictures.

And as soon as I figure out how to find them, I will post the pitures of the festival.

The Best Engine

It has been said that a noted Gynecologist once proclaimed,

"The best engine in the world is the vagina.
It can be started with one finger.
It is self-lubricating.
It takes any size piston.
And it changes its own oil every four weeks.
It is only a pity that the management system is so "fucking temperamental".

Rainy Day In Blairsville

 
It started raining as we left home for the drive to Blairsville and the Bluegrass Festival. It only got heavier as we drove North. It stopped for about 30 minutes as we were checking into the motel. By the way, if any of your need surgery, or a home built or a car engine rebuilt, just call on me because we are staying in a Holiday Inn Express.

Then the thunder and the deluge started. All the tents set up for the country crafts and the scattered bands, were empty. The court house on the square had bands playing all day, the civic center had some playing most of the day as did the Historical Society. But Blairsville is a small town built around a square and very little parking. All the places were taken up mostly by the bands. I had to let Judy and the grandkids out and go park a few blocks away and walk back in the rain.

I wasn’t in the best of moods, either. The weather seem to put a damper (no pun intended) on my spirits. But Sunday is suppose to be sunny and in the high 60’s. Maybe it will be better then.

One highlight, other than hearing some damn good music, was where we ate lunch. Sgt. Charlie, who was raised in these parts and live here until moving full time to Florida earlier this year, suggested we eat at a place called The Comfort Inn. We tried, but it was closed. Seems there was a new birth in the family and the new addition was more important than the festival. So we went across the square to The Hole In The Wall Café. The food wasn’t great, but the decor was cute. The walls were covered with plaques and signs with all these sayings.

So in keeping with my continuing education of you peeps, I give you some sayings to help guide your life. I couldn't copy them all down because the other customers were getting mad with me for leaning over them to write the sayins down. Some people can be so pickey over their food and eating arrangemtns.

But here are a few of the ones I could get:

1. Every time I say I’m dieting…I wash my mouth with Chocolate.

2. You can’t scare me, I teach 5th grade.

3. Friends don’t let friends eat chocolate alone.

4. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

5. Coffee is hot water with an attitude.

6. Angles do exist…sometimes they have no wings and are called friends.

7. Irish Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that he looks forward to the trip.

8. My wife things a fishing rod is a pole with a jerk on both ends.

9. Sing at MeMaw and PawPaw’s house: Kids Spoiled Here.

10. If you want the best seat in the house you are going to have to move the dog.

11. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

12. Mothers of teenagers know why some animals eat their young.

13. Ice Tea - Wine Of The South.

Your welcome!

Pictures and more to follow. Stop yawning! STOP IT!

Gone To The Mountains

A Thailand Bar Sign

So not to be confused as to where I will be this weekend, it woan't be in Thailand.


I'll be in the North Georgia Mountains at a Blue Grass Festival and mountain craft shopping in Blairsville, GA. YEE HAAA

"Survivor" Texas Style

My new friend, Julie, sent this to me.
 

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."

The 9 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio.

Then over to Houston and down to Brownsville .

They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo.

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads:

"I'm a Democrat,"

"I'm Gay,"

"I love the Dixie Chicks,"

"I Voted for Obama,"

"George Strait Sucks,"

"Hillary in 2012"
And

"I'm here to confiscate your guns..."

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.


God Bless Texas!

The Mechanic Doctor

 
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor replied, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

Army Statue of Liberty

This was sent to me by my blogging friend, Mary, over at No Polar Coordinates.

This INCREDIBLE picture was taken in 1918. It’s amazing that this photo, taken so many years ago, still exists! And now someone has put it online for all of us to see.

What a priceless gift from our grandfathers...

(Click on it to Bigger Size)

 

The design for the living picture was laid out at the drill ground at Camp Dodge, situated in the beautiful valley of the Des Moines River. Thousands of yards of white tape were fastened to the ground and formed the outlines on which 18,000 officers and men marched to their respective positions.

In this body of soldiers are many hundreds of men of foreign birth – born of parents, whose first impression of the Land of Freedom and Promise was of the world’s greatest colossus standing with beacon light at the portal of a nation of free people, holding aloft a torch symbolic of the light of liberty which the statue represents. Side by side with native sons these men, with unstinted patriotism, now offer to sacrifice not only their liberty but life itself for our beloved country.

The day on which the photograph was taken was extremely hot and the heat was intensified by the mass formation of men. The dimensions of the platting for the picture seem astonishing. The camera was placed on a high tower. From the position nearest the camera occupied by Colonel Newman and his staff, to the last man at the top of the torch as platted on the ground was 1,235 feet, or approximately a quarter of a mile. The appended figures will give an adequate idea of the distorted proportions of the actual ground measurements for this photograph:

Base to shoulder: 150 feet.
Right arm: 340 feet.
Widest part of the arm holding the torch: 12-1/2 feet.
Right thumb: 35 feet.
Thickest part of body: 29 feet.
Left hand (length): 30 feet.
Tablet in left hand: 27 feet.
Face: 60 feet.
Nose: 21 feet.
Longest spike of the head piece: 70 feet.
Flame on torch: 600 feet.
Torch and flame combined: 980 feet.
Number of men in flame of torch: 12,000.
Number of men in torch: 2,800.
Number of men in right arm: 1,200.
Number of men in the body, head and balance of the figure only: 2,000.
Total: 18,000.

Incredible as it may seem there is twice the number of men in the torch as in the whole remaining design, while there are eight times as many men in the arm, torch and flame as in all the rest of the figure. It will be noted that the right thumb is five feet longer than the left hand, while the right arm, torch and flame is eight times the length of the body.