MeMaw found out to that Rhubarb and Dallas McCade would be at the Long Horns’ in Woodstock today giving out Kenny Chesney tickets. I was instructed to be there at 4:00 to get two. She thought it would be great to give them to Marni and Jarrett. Great idea! I said I would do it. The first inkling that it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought was when I couldn’t find a parking place at 3:45. Then there were the vans and mini vans with “Honk if you (heart) Kenny Chesney” signs painted on the windows. The next sign was the number of people there. I didn’t realize Rhubarb was so popular.
Then I found out that there would be a drawing for the tickets (two sets were backstage passes.) So I was standing there looking around at the horde waiting to get into the drawing. Let’s see! There were the cowgirls with the tight fitting genes (thanks Conway) and big hair. Also in the crowd are the slim challenged ladies with their shorts and teddies (I think that’s what you call those handkerchiefs with strings) that they didn’t need to wear at home, much less out in public. There were a few men standing there looking embarrassed, because their wives or girlfriends were screaming to high heaven every time someone mentioned Kenny’s name.
To make a long, boring story short, I didn’t win any tickets. I also didn’t win a autographed picture of Kenny, or a life-size cardboard cutout of Kenny (one of five that the women were screaming for.) I also didn’t win one the mugs with Eagle 106.7 on it. What do I need with a mug? We have plenty of plastic cups. Finally, I didn’t even get to talk to Rhubarb. No matter how much I screamed, he wouldn’t look at me.
Well, I guess it’s the thought that counts. Marni and Jarrett would have really loved to have been there. And I got to see people at their funniest and saddest. However, I did get a chance to enjoy a cold Bud Light and a Tunion, so life is good.
MASTERPIECE #2464 - Constantin Hansen, Danish *"Dude, What's the Deal? I Thought You Said There'd Be Hookers Here,"* Between 1860-64 Oil on canvas
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